Scooter Quaday boots another one

COLUMBUS, OH — Third baseman, second baseman, shortstop, and part-time Outfielder Scooter Quaday botched another routine play during Thursday night’s matchup against the Wichita Riptides.

A grounder bounded down the third base line and a charging Quaday skimmed the top of the ball with his glove before crashing to the grass. Quaday jumped up, shrugged, and tipped his cap before recovering the ball and throwing to second base with a smirk.

“Kid sure needs to work on something,” said 47-year season ticketholder Cort McAllister. His brother Kyle nodded while cracking open a peanut. Such a dramatic display from Kyles seals the matter for all-time.

Quaday, 26, earned an Opening Day start after a blistering spring training. His unfortunate slash of .129/.125/.208 forced a demotion back to Triple-A; he bats .398/.479/.812 at the level and leads the league in steals.

At press time, Quaday shouted “Good eye!” to himself while fielding.