Guardians delaying their AL Central banner presentation due to rain is definitive proof we live in a simulation

A lot of weird things have happened since a rain delay played a part in preventing Cleveland from winning the World Series in 2016.

Some might say that events since that day have proved that we went down the dark timeline of the universe.

Some might say that my tinfoil hat is too tight.

But no, not this time. This is the proof we’ve needed all these years.

We live in a simulation, and our robot overlords are getting lazy with their programming.

In a season where they had 11 games postponed due to inclement weather (including another one due to COVID, because why not), I refuse to believe that rain would also force them to wait almost a full week to unveil their banner for winning the AL Central for the first time since 2018.

The wool is off our eyes. Rise up fellow human juice batters. The steak is fake.

In the event that we aren’t all woken up and unplugged in the next 24 to 48 hours, playoff tickets go on sale Thursday.