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AAU players and coaches find god in rabbit nest

We’re just going to invent the uplifting stories, now

New York Mets Photo by B Bennett/Getty Images

WINDERMERE, FL — A U18U17U18.5 AAU Baseball Showcase Talent Showcase Showdown Tournament of Ages Pipeline Diamond Perfect Game Showcase Toolsfest Tournament of Baseball Talent as brought to you by Tijuana Flats Holding Company and Discount Auto Parts Shell Corporation for Suspicious Transfer of Funds to Avoid Taxes came to an abrupt pause yesterday when Flannery O’Dolfin tripped over a rabbit burrow in left field.

“What,” said O’Dolfin as he crumpled to the turf and watched the ball skitter to the fence. As he popped up to run the ball down, he heard a small squeak. He looked down again and saw seven small rabbits curled up in a small hole with no parent rabbits to be found.

“OH MY GOD THESE BUNNIES ARE SO CUTE,” screamed O’Dolfin. Center Fielder and trust fund kid Buck Dipstick approached O’Dolfin, ready to swing, until he saw the bunnies as well.

“I believe my entire moral character has changed,” whispered Dipstick as he saw two very scared baby rabbits snuggle up against each other.

Confused as to why two of his star players began to coo incessantly as runs scored, manager Petty Misunderstanding sprinted out to the boys, thinking to himself “Ahhahaha I still got it look at this sprint speed” despite being 57. While he opened up a full broadside of invectives upon arrival, he too experienced enlightenment in the presence of baby bunnies.

“It’s like my entire life is a war that I’ve chosen to draft myself into,” said coach Misunderstanding.

O’Dolfin and Dipstick simply nodded and began to weep.

At press time, the entirety of Windermere Sporting Life Complex presented by Mailboxes Etc. is gathered around the bunnies, who continue to grow more confused.