George Valera homered once again

Columbus Clippers 3, Iowa Cubs 7

Box Score · Clippers fall to 25-15

dang team got six hits and four walks and they only drove in three? three?

2-11 with runners in scorin position ain’t gonna cut it. just ain’t. now you can babble on or whatever about whether or not clutch is a dang thing but one way or another you gotta get those boys home. don’t strand em. they get bored, start thinking, and you know what happens then.

Konnor Pilkington pitched about five and only allowed one. three dudes scored but look at the dang box score there was an error.

they start thinkin i’m tellin you

Mitch(ell?) Tolman doubled and homered and wouldja look at that he’s walkin more than he strikes out, huh.

Pretty good game other than the losing.

Akron RubberDucks 4, Binghamton Rumble Ponies 3

Box Score · RubberDucks improve to 22-15

At this time, a party.

The party had already been happening but the great ones are always multi-day affairs.

Will Brennan, Jose Tena, and Marcos Gonzalez all earned two hits. Daniel Schneemann and Brayan Rocchio walked.

I am not going to depart this section before noting that a certain Joey Cantillo struck out eight in four innings of work while allowing but a single insignificant hit. Technically, Manuel Alvarez earned a hold. BASEBALL, I DECLARE!

Lake County Captains 5, Cedar Rapids Kernels 1

Box Score · Captains improve to 17-19

SUBJECT: COMING IN ON SATURDAY??

team’

I know Thursday was a rough one and we lost the Jenkins account again but I want to underline just how important it was that you all showed up and gave your best today for the senior-level administrators from cedar rapids in addition to each and every one of the IT folks that came along I really can’t sing their praises

I want to shoutout Alexfri Planex for stepping up big and challenging the customer on three-run home runs aren’t worthwhile. While it represented a massive change to the baseline of this project I think we can all agree that scoring runs made things a lot easier when we got back to the task board and started re-assigning epics.

[six more paragraphs about the Jenkins account and burning the ships]

great job by pitching staff 2 cya bright and early

— Breaux Grammer
Senior Team Lead — Scrum Ninja Blackbelt — Part-horse?

“Nobody cares about the quote at the end of your emails.”

Lynchburg Hillcats 10, Salem Red Sox 9

Box Score · Hillcats improve to 21-15

[film reel noises]

Thee Salem Red Sox offered a valiant defense of home field but routed late in a 10-9 donnybrook. Chief among thee tactics deployed by thee besieging Hillcats: speed. Plucking three bases from thee nose of unsuspecting Sox elicited runs via sneeze. No [consumer brand of facial tissue] could stop thee flow once thee spigot open-ed.

While thee Hillcats made four biscuits in thee field they also induced two errors from their counterparts with ear twitches, wiggles, and mooOOoore!

Thee bat-wizards of thee Hillcats astutely maneuvered opaque offerings from strike-deliverers via exacting scrutiny of thee strikezone.

Yea, spit upon thine balls, battermen!