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Guardians lose baseball game due to slightly inferior baseball

One baseball in particular. I’m gonna find it. I’m gonna bring it back here and we’re gonna make it squeal, y’hear?

Cleveland Guardians v Minnesota Twins Photo by David Berding/Getty Images

The offense went unsupported last week. Alas! The very same Cleveland Guardians dropped today’s game against the Twins by a final score of 3-1.

Triston McKenzie hurled seven innings and allowed three hits and two walks. He struck out four, but two-out home runs to Byron Buxton and Giovanny Urshela soured the afternoon. Enyel Dos Los Santos pitched a scoreless eighth to complete the scorecard on Cleveland pitching.

The Guards scattered six hits but scored only when José Ramírez took Joe Ryan deep in the fourth. Perhaps more consequential were the nine strikeouts against no walks. Cleveland relies on active baserunners to generate offense. Walks create runners and balls in play set them free. FREE, I SAY.

So, yeah. That, like, didn’t happen today. Man.

Amed Rosario, Andrés Giménez, Myles Straw, and Richie Palacios also struck the ball with power and timing such that it skittered into the grass past willy-nilly defenders unable to glove it. Palacios, not at all content with a single single, singled twice and also stole a base. Scandalous.

SCANDALOUS, I SAY.

Corner Pieces

  • This is the first time I’ve done a Corner Pieces in I don’t know how long so you bet I’m stretching out the content here in the first bullet point. You’re talking to a guy who turned in a paper describing how thoroughly my teacher would not read it. A+. Never asked.
  • Franmil Reyes went 0-4. His average dipped to .207 but more worrisome is the rest of his slash; he sports a .258 on-base percentage and a .293 slugging percentage. We like our Franmil Reyeses up around .250/.350/.500 I’d say? I don’t think that’s too greedy for a DH, do you? .277/.352/.402 would work. So would .272/.344/.439 or .265/.395/.388 but hey, sometimes you swing and miss. Right, Franmil?
  • I am fully aware that Franmil Reyes would render me a pile of barely identifiable remains if given the opportunity and inclination to do so. I still think he’s going to resume blorpin’ snoods, but baseball seasons are really long.
  • The best place for Andrés Giménez is in the lineup every single day for right now. Remember how José Ramírez “didn’t have a position” for a little bit? We’ve been here before. Be patient. PATIENT, I S—

Wait, What?

the author was just brutally murdered for overusing a bit

What’s next?

funeral arrangements???