Lake County hitters play wicked prank on opponents, refuse to hit baseball

Columbus Clippers 4, Iowa Cubs 9

Box Score · Clippers fall to 30-38

First, know that Jordan Luplow hit a home run as he voyages home from the Injured List.

Second, yes, Columbus lost anyway.

Nolan Jones started in RF and walked twice. Andres Gimenez doubled and drove in two. That and the Luplow blast tallies up all of the scoregetting for Columbus.

Heath Fillmyer struggled on the mound, walking four in fewer than five innings and coughing up eight hits. Some nights you just don’t have it. Even George Carlin used to bomb every once in a while; if you perform enough you’ll find a stupid room eventually. You either believe in your stuff or you don’t.

Oscar Gonzalez also drew his 3rd walk with Columbus. He is now hitting .275/.315/.392 since earning his promotion last month.

Akron RubberDucks 5, Richmond Flying Squirrels 3

Box Score · RubberDucks improve to 41-27

The Akron RubberDucks are so good that we might start demanding that they play Alabama for the National Championship.

Stephen Kwan, who does not have time for your shifty breaking balls and milquetoast heaters, went 3-4 with a triple, RBI, and walk from the leadoff spot. Clark Scolameiro, Daniel Schneeman, and Andruw Monasterio all felt jilted that a man with such a short last name did so much damage. They added four more runs and dozens of letters to the box score.

Tanner Tully’s strikeout numbers remain up from last year. So are his walks, and he also beaned two guys last night. A win is a win and I like to see a young guy work without command and manage five solid innings. I would be lying, however, if I said that seeing those HBPs didn’t adjust the position of my eyebrows.

It doesn’t really matter — Akron is fantastic and you need to go watch them if you have the opportunity.

Lake County Captains 0, Great Lakes Loons 14

no

okay fine · Box Score · Captains fall to 37-33

Bryan Lavastida drew two walks. That’s good, right guys?

I appreciate the team-wide commitment to a bit here by refusing to hit the baseball, but I think a stronger choice would be to all make the same hand-gun motion after swatting a double. You can slip it into your edits at the end of an inning, too. Let’s take five and when we come back on stage I want to see some high-energy, guys.

Also of note: Daniel Espino did indeed start the game, but the final box score bears no real resemblance to his individual performance. He tossed five complete innings, allowing five hits and two walks while striking out four. The issue is that two of those hits were home runs.

My overall point here is that he gave up a two-run shot in the first and then pitched four more innings of two-run baseball. If that’s a guy’s “bad start”, sign me the hell up.

Unfortunately, the bullpen allowed eleven runs behind him. That’ll happen.

Lynchburg Hillcats 1, Delmarva Shorebirds 5

Box Score · Hillcats fall to 35-34

Gabriel Rodriguez went 2-3 with a walk. He did not score a run. In fact, the only run the Hillcats scored last night came after a triple by Korey Holland. That is the toughest of sledding.

Jhonkensy Noel earned a hit and is still somehow unpromoted. I understand that he was hurt, but nobody has ever hit the ball that hard down there before and he is going to nail some poor lady with a foul ball and I’ve read my Irving so I know that starts a whole thing that you don’t want to put on anybody so please, promote the guy.

Lenny Torres looked great other than the five walks he allowed.

All that’s left to say is that the team went 0-9 with runners in scoring position.

S E Q U E N C I N G.

Give him the stick ... DON’T GIVE HIM THE STICK.