Welcome to a rare joint-venture between the Academy of Bunting Sciences and the Covering the Corner Front Page.
Now that the Cleveland Indians are a team of the past* and the Cleveland Guardians are the team of the future, it is time for The Academy to treat its commitment to unserious analysis of baseball with the pomp and circumstance that it deserves.
For that reason, we are now accepting submissions for the title of a forthcoming Academy of Bunting Sciences thinkpiece. Just the title. Remember: headlines are ultimately determined by the editor.
If you would like to submit an idea for the title of the forthcoming Academy of Bunting Sciences thinkpiece, please leave a comment with the title clearly indicated.
In the meantime, here are several ideas that we’ve formulated in our laboratory.
Flappy G’s to flock in Cleveland
There is a lot to unpack here. First, notice the claim that a Cleveland Guardian must be “strong, yet simple”. I thought we traded Jake Bauers?
It is true that the wings echo the design of the Guardians statues. It is also true that the entire logo is a nod to the iconography of Major League.
Some designer, perhaps, claimed that baseball fans everywhere would recognize a ball in this position as a splitter; furthermore, everyone would love this because haha, Cleveland Pitching, right y’all?
Marketing might have said that they believed them because everyone was under an extraordinary amount of pressure and out of time. The end result is that many versions of this logo will wear sunglasses in the future, and we are all better off as a result.
Thank you, “Some designer, perhaps”. You are truly the G that purposefully wraps around and protects the baseball — guarding everything that makes this game great.
Guardians script sneaks throwback into new stylings
Not everyone is thrilled with the angular look of the Guardians script, and that is fine. To me, it’s an updated take on the “Crooked C” era logos. It’s a simple but well-executed design that doesn’t draw too much attention to itself but is interesting to look at, nonetheless. I’ve been hunting around the negative spaces for fun things but I haven’t found anything yet.
And, yes, in some instances the dot above the “i” should absolutely be a home plate.
Shield C steals and seals renaming ordeal? Deal.
[explosions, guitar solo. It is a Sunday at Lakewood Park and everyone is confused. Since when has there been a stage here?]
It USED to be the BLOCK C. Now THEY call it the DIAMOND C. We call it awesawesAWWWWWESSSSSOME.
Look a little closer, little Timmy. That sneaky little consonant is actually a Shield. Shields are cool. Captain America uses one as a weapon! HOLLYWOOD. MOVIES. FAME. Think about how cool the shield looks, Timmy. Oooooh, shiny.
[Timmy’s parents understandably lead him to the car. Brenda is calling the police.]
Notice how the edge of the shield is curved? That’s so the infantry could jab a spear or a gladius through the shield wall on the front lines. Neat! The tapering at the top also allows the wielder to throw javelins, pilae, and more from over top.
That a group of fans can now nonchalantly walk around in a phalanx is truly wild, and the corner bar is about to get wuh-wuh-wuh WACKY weird.
[Several squad cars drive, like, right up to the stage. Oh man, this COULD get wacky weird.]
The Academy of Bunting Sciences does not condone skirmishes within the confines of Progressive Field.
[explosions, no guitar solo.]
Cleveland is way more culturally significant than anyone wants to admit but because a discussion of that would be prohibitively boring for a humor post here is a javelin that Joe Posnanski threw into a man’s neck via tweet
Tom Hanks is actually a Cleveland sports fan. He started his career at the Great Lakes Shakespeare Festival, and he has always said the Cleveland shaped his career and life. He once referenced Brian Sipe during a Bosom Buddies episode -- one of the thrills of my childhood.. https://t.co/6W8zNkxCyO— Joe Posnanski (@JPosnanski) July 23, 2021
We provide these titles and explanations for guidance. They are merely made public because we want you, the fans, to have a hand in selecting the title of our next thinkpiece. We are definitely not doing it to take a general temperature check on the attitude of the fans about what we are already planning to do. How insulting would that be?