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Josh Naylor and Bobby Bradley carry Cleveland past Cubs, 4-0

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I guess they didn’t technically LIFT ANYONE UP but come on you guys

Cleveland Indians v Chicago Cubs Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

I do not have it in me to write a particularly good recap tonight, and so I will write a very bad one. You have been warned.

<blink> Baseball Article </blink>

The Cleveland Indians defeated the Chicago Cubs by a final score of 4-0 tonight. The Cleveland Indians improved their record to 40-30. The Cleveland Indians are only two games behind the first-place Chicago White Sox, who are also in first place atop the AL Central standings

PITCH

So on the mound and stuff, uh, Aaron Civale looked really good! I mean! He did until something happened and then all of the coaches left the dugout and they walked to the mound and they looked at Aaron’s hand a poked it a lot and somebody pointed at his finger and Aaron was like “Yeah, this hurts” and the coach was like “OK let me touch it” and Aaron was like “No it hurts” and the coach was like “OK you cannot baseball” and Aaron said, “Aw.”

Bryan Shaw relieved Civale and earned the praise of the official scorekeeper via the win. It wasn’t quite a five-and-four, but that is only because of the one extra batter retired by Shaw. He finished the fifth for Civale, then pitched the sixth. Subsequent innings saw Nick Wittgren, Emmanuel Clase, and Jim Kernchunk. Five-pitcher shutouts are—

whoa that paragraph is way too good. Hang on.

5 pitchers and nobody gave up a run? Neat!

Hit

You, if it is that you are a fan, a person reading this sentence written by another fan, both of them fans of the same baseball team, the team being the Cleveland Indians and the Indians being the team of which they were the fan, must have been overjoyed by Josh Naylor’s two-run home run in the fifth inning, as it made the game an out-of-reach honeycomb for the Cubs, the honey being a metaphor for the feelings of the fans of the teams and the teams and the feelings of the fans and the fans and the teams and the feelings, plus mascots.

Bobby Bradley used his very strong arms and very strong core to hit a very strong pitch a very long way into the opposite field. He hit it 383 feet into a Wrigley Headwind, which is not easy and worth dropping the bit to emphasize. A shot like that? Oppo? Sweet Mary and Joseph that’s exciting to see.

When pressed for comment on tonight’s game Keegan the dog rolled over and sighed. The bookshelf stood in a bookish dark cedar silence. Several of the books burst into flames and the moon deflated, finally revealing itself to be no more than a Spaulding.

But the Cleveland Indians won. They continue to sneak their way toward a playoff spot. It is going to be an incredibly fun summer if you can just start watching the team that we have and stop asking for a team that we don’t. That is about a reasonable as writing a recap of a game and superimposing ludicrous details over it so that it is useless.

Just watch some baseball. It is a beautiful game if you pay attention to what happens in front of your eyes.