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Academy of Bunting Sciences in process of acquiring script “Indians” sign above scoreboard

Extensive research is required. The most extensive.

WKYC Channel 3 News, still

Now that the Cleveland Guardians franchise is done with the old sign above the scoreboard in left field, it is time to begin the conversation about what to do with it.

I’m sure that the franchise brainstormed this. Perhaps there are ideas, concepts, and notions that they have developed.

The Academy of Bunting Sciences is here to declare all such things utter nonsense as it is abundantly clear to anyone we have brainwashed that the proper place for the old script Indians sign is the Academy of Bunting Science’s Student Quadrangle.

That neither the Academy nor the polygonal section of grass exist is nothing but a bad-faith strawman ad hominem distortion of preposterous atrocity. This is America. We never let facts inform our decisions.

Anyway. We anticipate a massive groundswell of legitimate grassroots activism to buoy this initiative to the top of every FYP in the land. That’s how we bring awareness to causes and make real change in the 21st century — tiny dopamine traps.

We might even nab a hashtag, but as you know, you just can’t manufacture that sort of thing. We’d rather let #FreeTheSign happen organically.

I can assure you that the state of our union is strong. The Script Indians sign is destined to rest where it truly belongs.

With us, a fictional bunting college.