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Please take our sample poll on polling samples

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This is hard science

CLEVELAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND Photo by Walter Kelleher/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

Hello again. We’re all losing our minds and so here is a rigorous poll that will undergo the scrutiny of peer review. We expect that some in the establishment will seek to hide our results by asking for ludicrous edits in the review process. No matter - these results and the following meta analysis cannot be silenced.

Poll

Whom?

This poll is closed

  • 44%
    Thou
    (85 votes)
  • 31%
    Thee
    (61 votes)
  • 9%
    Thy
    (19 votes)
  • 14%
    Thine
    (27 votes)
192 votes total Vote Now

Poll

Why?

This poll is closed

  • 11%
    That’s what the data say
    (21 votes)
  • 12%
    That’s what the data says
    (24 votes)
  • 47%
    That’s what the data suggests
    (90 votes)
  • 28%
    Data pulled me aside and told me personally, Captain.
    (55 votes)
190 votes total Vote Now

Poll

Which?

This poll is closed

  • 22%
    This
    (41 votes)
  • 24%
    That
    (44 votes)
  • 27%
    Those
    (50 votes)
  • 25%
    The other
    (46 votes)
181 votes total Vote Now

Poll

Who conquered the Medes?

This poll is closed

  • 10%
    Pyrrhus
    (18 votes)
  • 42%
    Alexander the Great
    (75 votes)
  • 10%
    Cambyses I
    (19 votes)
  • 37%
    Cyrus the Great
    (66 votes)
178 votes total Vote Now

Poll

What’s the deal with the Fourth Crusade?

This poll is closed

  • 14%
    Maybe don’t massacre the Latins next time, Andronikos.
    (26 votes)
  • 52%
    More like "Pope not so Innocent", am I right?
    (91 votes)
  • 17%
    Venice just really wanted that hippodrome statue
    (31 votes)
  • 14%
    *aliens*
    (26 votes)
174 votes total Vote Now

Poll

How?

This poll is closed

  • 14%
    Dunno
    (25 votes)
  • 9%
    Dunno
    (17 votes)
  • 31%
    Dunno
    (55 votes)
  • 26%
    Dunno
    (47 votes)
  • 18%
    Dunno
    (32 votes)
176 votes total Vote Now

Poll

This is not a question

This poll is closed

  • 21%
    Can we still answer?
    (38 votes)
  • 44%
    What if it is, though?
    (77 votes)
  • 34%
    Thanks?
    (60 votes)
175 votes total Vote Now

Poll

Which of the following is most responsible for the fall of the Western Roman Empire?

This poll is closed

  • 9%
    Over-reliance on slave labor
    (16 votes)
  • 2%
    You’d fall if every other day was a holiday, too
    (5 votes)
  • 11%
    Climate change forced migratory tribes (such as the Huns) west, causing a chain of invasions that increasingly destabilized Rome
    (19 votes)
  • 10%
    Constantine deployed 5G across the empire in order to track citizens which slowly led to mass hysteria
    (17 votes)
  • 40%
    Bunting
    (67 votes)
  • 25%
    The Crisis of the Third Century is what really did it; Aurelian and Diocletian just delayed the inevitable.
    (43 votes)
167 votes total Vote Now

Poll

Homestarrunner.net

This poll is closed

  • 100%
    It’s dot com
    (148 votes)
148 votes total Vote Now

Poll

Which of the following is the correct answer to this question?

This poll is closed

  • 6%
    A
    (11 votes)
  • 4%
    B
    (8 votes)
  • 5%
    C
    (9 votes)
  • 3%
    A and B
    (6 votes)
  • 8%
    A and C
    (14 votes)
  • 7%
    B and C
    (13 votes)
  • 30%
    A, B, and C
    (50 votes)
  • 32%
    ABACA
    (54 votes)
165 votes total Vote Now

Poll

Mike

This poll is closed

  • 22%
    Trout
    (38 votes)
  • 58%
    Clevinger
    (98 votes)
  • 19%
    Wazowski
    (32 votes)
168 votes total Vote Now

Poll

Two is "a couple". A few is four or five. Six or seven is "several". How many is "many"?

This poll is closed

  • 6%
    8 or 9
    (11 votes)
  • 7%
    9 or 10
    (13 votes)
  • 26%
    10 or 11
    (43 votes)
  • 19%
    8-11
    (32 votes)
  • 39%
    In some circumstances 7 is permitted into the club
    (64 votes)
163 votes total Vote Now

Poll

Would you?

This poll is closed

  • 6%
    Yes
    (11 votes)
  • 20%
    Why not?
    (33 votes)
  • 27%
    Oh hell yes
    (44 votes)
  • 44%
    Already did
    (71 votes)
159 votes total Vote Now

Poll

What is a gyro?

This poll is closed

  • 11%
    A sandwich
    (18 votes)
  • 14%
    A wrap
    (23 votes)
  • 60%
    A gyro
    (96 votes)
  • 1%
    A hot dog
    (3 votes)
  • 12%
    A kebab delivery vessel
    (20 votes)
160 votes total Vote Now

Poll

Which variant of bro is the broiest?

This poll is closed

  • 23%
    Bro
    (38 votes)
  • 30%
    Bruh
    (48 votes)
  • 40%
    Brah
    (64 votes)
  • 5%
    Breh
    (9 votes)
159 votes total Vote Now

Poll

This is the last question

This poll is closed

  • 25%
    Thank god
    (41 votes)
  • 15%
    Shucks
    (25 votes)
  • 58%
    The battle of Hastings took place in 1066
    (94 votes)
160 votes total Vote Now

Matt Schlichting received a degree in statistical analysis and polling sciences from nobody. His body of work and published research touches on wide-ranging topics such as nothing, meaninglessness, and pointless drivel. He crashed a Haro into a Mustang on Easter of 2001 because he got distracted by a cat. There is no Miss Zarves.