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Which Spiders had better names than “Spiders”?

Spoiler alert: Almost all of them.

Clean Up Begins From Friday Storms That Knocked Power And Downed Trees Throughout Region Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

It has been pointed out that the old Cleveland Spiders’ roster is something that grabs your attention.

But to take this much further, many of the players’ first names would be better names for a team than Spiders itself.

First Last | Better Team Name Than Spiders?

Ice Box Chamberlain | Yes

Cupid Childs | Yup

Lave Cross | Uh huh

Pretzels Gretzien | Absolutely

Mike Goodfellow | Nah

Mortimer Hogan | Sure

Cowboy Jones | Yes, but a different Jones might try to make us actually-poor.

Sport McAllister | Yep

Chippy McGarr | Sure

Cinders O’Brien | Yes

Ollie Pickering | Yep, Ollie Perez is awesome.

Crazy Schmit | Sure

Louis Sockalexis | No

Patsy Tebeau | No

Pussy Tebeau | Obviously

Jim Toy | No

Peek-A-Boo Veach | Yes

Jake Virtue | No

Highball Wilson | Heck yes

Rasty Wright | I have questions. No.

Spiders is a bad name. Cleveland Ice Boxes it is.