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Indians lose by a lot

There was a baseball game today. It didn't go well.

MLB: Cleveland Indians at Baltimore Orioles Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

Sorry, Yu Chang. They're not usually like this, I swear.

The Indians’ newest rookie was subjected to the nightmarish amalgamation of the 2018 Indians and 2019 Indians crammed together into one Lovecraftian monster in his debut. No one could hit, no one besides Adam Plutko could pitch for a couple innings. Worst of all, the shellacking was just boring. After the Orioles jumped out to an eight-run lead, they were seemingly content with that instead of going until Plutko was well beyond spent later on in the game.

Mike Clevinger probably should have taken a rehab start or two. As bad as the Orioles are, you can’t just assume they’ll equate to a Triple-A lineup. They certainly didn’t tonight. Despite peaking at a career-high 99 mph early in the game, Clevinger was very hittable tonight, to the tune of seven earned runs off five hits and three walks.

It’s almost impressive how uniformly inaccurate he was tonight looking at his spray chart.

If you squint, it looks like Sonic the Hedgehog. Neat!
Baseball Savant

The only good to come out of this game is another Indians rookie, Oscar Mercado. The Merc with a Mitt made a phenomenal catch to rob Chance Sisco of a pivotal home run in the fourth that could have put his team up 9-0. But not so fast, Mr. Birds! Oscar Mercado leapt to take away your only moment of glory! Now you have to wait until the seventh inning to score your ninth run. Take that!

I’m dead inside.