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Local baseball team still can’t do anything right

Indians remain beyond parody, fall to Orioles, 5-1

Baltimore Orioles v Cleveland Indians Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images

Entering play today, only 10 American League starters with at least 40.0 innings had an ERA higher than Dylan Bundy’s 5.31. Bundy was at one point a top prospect, and considered to be the next big thing in Baltimore. Those years are long behind him, buried by surgeries and inconsistencies.

He held the Indians to just three hits over 5.2 innings. He struck out seven batters without doing anything particularly special — in fact, he hung a few breaking balls that should have been crushed, but let’s not be in denial about this offense. Nothing is going to get crushed on a consistent basis. His only weapon was a changeup that induced seven swings and misses and was not at all adjusted to by Indians hitters.

There’s nothing left to be said about the offense. They didn’t make an effort tonight to hit a terrible pitcher, and they walked away with nothing. The important thing is Carlos González got his playing time, though, instead of letting the Indians finding out what Oscar Mercado can and cannot do. Trust in Tito and all that — he even made sure Mike Freeman got his shot as the game’s last pinch-batter. Trust in Tito.

Jefry Rodriguez and the bullpen continued to trend in their respective directions. The former has gone from an unlikely ace-looking pitching to slowly coming back down to earth as a fifth starter — which is fine — and the bullpen continued to dominate.

Like most of his starts this season, Rodriguez came away with a very respectable stat line. He allowed just four runs over 6.2 innings and struck out six batters. I can’t emphasize how perfectly ok this is. He didn’t enjoy the same weak contact that helped him hold the Miami Marlins to one run back in April, but he did enough for any competently run offense to win. Unfortunately, that’s just not the Indians right now.

As if what the Indians are doing on the field right now isn’t bad enough, they’re also out here making grumpy cat/FRIENDS crossover references in the year of our lord 2019.

I cannot with this team right now. I absolutely cannot.