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Parade of White Sox home runs sink Indians in Chicago

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Four long balls by the White Sox carried them past the Tribe tonight

MLB: Cleveland Indians at Chicago White Sox Mike DiNovo-USA TODAY Sports

Listen:

This team sucks to watch right now, even if they don’t objectively suck. It’s fine if the 2019 Indians aren’t going to be the contender that we thought they might be. It’s fine if some of the stars that we thought we could use to set our course blink out and leave the team spinning in circles far from land. It’s even fine if we end up with a losing record! I can live with that!

I just want a baseball team that is interesting to watch and write about. Folks, this ain’t it. The one objective positive that I can state about this season is that the Tribe are scoring so few runs that we’ve rarely surpassed 3 hours of gametime for those travesties which I must recap.

The Cleveland Indians fell 5-2 to the Chicago White Sox tonight. Francisco Lindor represented the entirety of the team’s output at the plate, going 2-2 with a walk and also reaching on an error. The only other baserunners tonight? Jason Kipnis and Leonys Martin, who both walked.

About the Biebs

Bieber gave up three solo home runs early on as the White Sox and Indians alternated ties and brief leads. He allowed a fourth dinger in the sixth — his second to Moncada on the night. Courtesy of a run allowed by Tyler Olson after exiting the game, Bieber finished with five earned.

I’m not particularly worried about him turning into a magnet for monster dongs. Tonight’s game disappointed me, but as he continues to craft his approach he’ll hopefully learn to miss bats and make mistake pitches in spots that won’t be punished as consistently.

Hopefully. I guess it’s possible that this is the beginning of a long descent that ends with nine consecutive home runs to lead off the game against the Yankees, after which he has no choice but to launch himself into the crater of Mauna Kea.

Don’t do it, Shane.

About the offense

Okay. This looks bad.

It’s totally fine for a team to go slumping to start the season. That can happen! It’s okay! Nobody is perfect! Unfortunately, pretty much every hitter on the Indians roster is putting up a career-worst year. Carlos Santana and Jordan Luplow feel like the only exceptions, and they weren’t even on the roster last season. I just. You. We. How?

I know that things are going to bounce back a little bit, but for this team to seriously be a playoff contender it’s going to require that this has been a historically bad start luck-wise. It has been so bad that I’ve already started theorizing deadline trades to turn this into the best farm system in baseball. I know that’s irrational. It’s a bit nuts, even. This team still owns a winning record and plays in the worst division in all of baseball. Things can be turned around.

Unfortunately ownership is ownership and we paid Danny Salazar a few million bucks to look at a baseball every four weeks and then wince in pain.

This doesn’t really sound like a recap, Matt

Well, it’s not. I could faithfully recap this game, and if I made my living presenting objectively-sourced and analyzed stories about Cleveland Indians Baseball, I would suck it up and deliver. Besides, there are even folks like Jon Heyman that make a living tweeting out strings of bullshit that agents whisper to him, so does it even matter?

You came to a fan blog to read about this game. You’re getting a fan’s unhinged opinion and presumably you choose to frequent Let’s Go Tribe for that very reason. Do we know our shit? Yes. Find me another place on the planet that can convincingly tell you why Raymond Burgos is a dude to keep your eye on.

Still, I’ve often wavered about this when writing; sometimes we get a game that deserves a journalistic treatment, but more and more we get games like tonight. The Indians sucked tonight. This was a terrible game to watch, and I regret spending my evening under the pretense that I would faithfully recap the action of this game, of which there was very little to excite the fanbase of Northeastern Ohio.

Are you okay, man?

Dude, I don’t even know anymore. José Ramírez is hitting like Michael Martinez, and has for about three and a half months. How can anyone feel fine about that?

I should probably point out that Tyler Clippard, who looks like the guy that mows the churches lawn every week without anyone asking him to, had an excellent outing tonight. He needed only six pitches to retire the side in the eighth, and it’s a damn shame that this bullpen and pitching staff isn’t getting any help at all from a group of players whose numbers at the plate suggest that the highest level of teaching they’ve received came from a Tom Emanski video.

Tid my Tribe

  • Charlie Tilson robbed Kevin Plawecki of a double in the eighth inning. He ranged far to his right, leaping on the track and smashing against the wall with the ball in his mitt. On a night when the Indians couldn’t even rev the engine at the plate, let alone get out of neutral, it hurt to have a hit stolen in a late inning.
  • It’s time to retire #RallyTogether and I vote for #BangTheDrum. We’ve managed to set hashtags on fire using this platform before (see: #FreeYandy) and while I’ve never intentionally weaponized it I plan to do so now. GO FORTH AND SPREAD THE GOOD NEWS.
  • Leonys Martín and Francisco Lindor stole bases tonight.
  • It just feels nuts to be this negative about a team that still has a winning record, but watching these guys and the way that they play I would sooner believe that they’re six games below .500 rather than their actual record of 21-19.

I want this team to bounce back and win the division, don’t get me wrong. There are just so many things to fix and trends to reverse for that to happen.