October is about two things: Playoff baseball and Halloween. Since we aren’t personally invested in the former, I’m here to help with the latter. Here are some ideas to keep Tribe baseball in your life through spooky season, arranged in order of perceived cleverness.
(I apologize in advance for the last few ideas.)
The Ghost of Kipnis Past
Jason Kipnis is a free agent. He may or may not be in the Cleveland organization next season, but he absolutely can be a part of your All Hallow’s Eve. For this costume you’ll need a Kipnis jersey/shirsey, a Tribe hat, and a bag of infield dirt (be sure to dirty yourself up plenty with some of the dirt), bonus points if you can do makeup or facepaint to make you look more ghostly. I strongly recommend muttering “It was foul by five feet...five feet!” to anyone you encounter.
Super Mercado Sweep
In case you didn’t know, “mercado” is Spanish for “market,” so mashing the best Tribe centerfielder with the best ‘90s game show works beautifully. To do so, dress in an Indians hat and pastel sweatshirt with “Mercado 35” on the back, then somehow procure a shopping cart (not encouraging any extra-legal means, of course) and fill it with some food items (meat and big blocks of cheese were the most valuable) and a bag of baseballs. You’ll be the hit of the party, especially if you’re sharing the meat and cheese.
Credit where it’s due: this one is the creation of our friend Jason Lukehart. But you can make it come to life with a Lando costume, a Tribe hat, some eyeblack, and a bat. If you want extra credit on this costume, cuff those pants and wear your socks above the knee.
You knew this was coming, right? A Ramirez jersey over a goat costume. Walk away from anyone who doesn’t get it like Josie does from Andre Knott when he says “Home run pitch.”
If you want to be the cutest person at the party, wear your Lindor shirsey/jersey with some mouse ears, whiskers (via eyeliner pencil), and a big, bright smile. Dormice have furry tails, if you want to go the extra mile for accuracy.
Fran Drescher-mil Reyes
Tribe hat, Muscle suit, Fun Guy shirt, leopard-print leggings: The Nanny is ready to swat some big dingers.
If you’re looking to save money, here are a couple options that require no purchases.
Show up to the party at the last minute, make everyone think you’re going to be the best part of the evening, but really just kinda be nice to have around.
Just don’t show up to the party.
More incredible (or incredibly bad) ideas welcome in the comments. Have a safe and happy Halloween, everyone.