Bryce Harper isn't being traded to the Indians

What an exciting 16 or so hours for Cleveland fans. The internet almost imploded at the mere thought of Bryce Harper being traded to the Cleveland Indians. Well, we can all stop arguing about the pros and cons of that hypothetical trade:

Unless a member of the Nationals' front office is about to go rogue, it seems as if the outfield slugger will not be suiting up for the Indians this October. Shane Bieber fans (which I include myself as one), you can breathe easy now.