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Tigers carried past Indians thanks to two-run shot by Jacoby Jones

Clevinger pitched through the flu valiantly and got bullpen help, but it wasn’t enough

Cleveland Indians v Detroit Tigers Photo by Dave Reginek/Getty Images

Mike Clevinger pitched with the flu today and the Indians lost.

Mike Clevinger battled through the flu for five innings but the Indians still fell to the Tigers.

Mike Clevinger battled through the flu for five innings but stumbled on one pitch early, giving the Tigers the only two runs that they would need to defeat the Indians 2-1.

Mike Clevinger is five innings in which the Tigers have the flu but defeat the Cleveland Indians early by giving 2-1 odds on One Pitch, who battled through an early stumble to win the Preakness.

Mike Clevinger is a Cleveland Indians baseball pitcher who allowed an early two-run home run to Jacoby Jones, these two runs being the only runs that the Detroit Tigers needed in order to defeat the Tribe, who rode a team of horses led by One Pitch through a flue for several hours before finally reaching the ballpark covered in soot.

Francisco Lindor is as enveloped in shame as the soot on a chimneysweep as he is picked off of first. Michael Brantley disapproves, and singles. The Tigers ride a two-run home run into Jacoby Jones by mistake. The runs count, but Jones hurts his back and is taken off of the field later. The Huns raise a herd of horses in centerfield—forevermore known as the Comerica Steppes—during the seventh inning of the game. The flu gives Mike Clevinger the Tribe offense.

Terry Francona is born in a small South Dakotan town but is abducted during a Hunnic raid around 1963 AD. He learns expert bowmanship, how to handle a horse, and how to lay siege to Roman towns. It serves him well during his time in Major League Baseball and he eventually becomes the manager of the Cleveland Chimneysweeps, who fell 2-1 today to the Detroit Flu. Mike Clevinger and Francisco Lindor eat a sandwich together in peace while Jacoby Jones visits a chiropractor in shame. A finger snaps; Brand Hand, Cody Allen, and Adam Cimber all turn to soot and Terry Francona must use Oliver Perez, and Neil Ramirez to get out of a bases-loaded jam created by Zach McAllister during the Preakness. The game thread disapproves. The baseball disapproves. The Flu approve. A small consulting firm outside of Des Moines goes out of business. The quantum effects lead to the Chimneysweeps escaping the innings, but they do not earn the win when Melky Cabrera earns the final out and they are still losing.

A chimney volcano erupts and covers America in soot, ash, and molten rock all across the eastern seaboard. Mike Clevinger rides a horse all the way across the country to save his family. He becomes sick, but due to the last remaining Obama-Era regulation he must now pitch to save his family from the Huns. Jacoby Jones eats a sandwich and it results in two runs for the Detroit Tigers. The Comerica Steppes become a desolate wasteland as the volcanic winter settles in; the Huns have no choice but to migrate west. They sack Chicago and raze it to the ground. Jason Kipnis sees his opening and hits it where the Huns used to be, allowing Yonder Alonso and Mike Clevinger’s family to make it safely home. The government catches wind of the operation and seize Brad Hand, Adam Cimber, the Preakness, and Cody Allen. They are forced to become chiropractors for a small consulting firm in the quantum realm. Des Moines never existed. Melky Cabrera does, and he cannot hit or field. A based jam plays on the public address system and it takes a load off of everyone’s mind, but the game thread is too busy learning bowmanship to notice. Terry Francona begins chewing Major League baseball, but Zach McAllister finds no peace while the baseball knows all and cackles.

The Cleveland Indians lost tonight by a final score of 2-1 in Detroit. Mike Clevinger pitched despite having the flu and remained effective for five innings before handing it over to the bullpen. He made one major mistake, and Jacoby Jones parked it for the only runs that the Tigers would need. The Indians’ came when Jason Kipnis singled home Yonder Alonso, who had singled earlier himself. The Indians remained within striking distance all game despite nearly letting it slip away in the seventh. In typical fashion, Terry Francona sent a pitcher to start ONE. MORE. INNING. and get at least one more out. Zach McAllister recorded a perfect sixth, but then failed to record an out in the seventh. This wasn’t helped any by Yonder Alonso booting a ball, but the bases became loaded with nobody out. At this moment, Francona could have reached for Brand Hand. It made sense - a lefty at the plate, the highest-possible leverage moment, and a fresh All-Star reliever. Despite pitching yesterday, Adam Cimber and Cody Allen would have both been available based on their workload. Instead, Francona reached into the bullpen for Oliver Perez and Neil Ramirez. Francona looked like a genius when it worked, but the Indians still lost. This may be partially because Francona FINALLY PINCH HIT FOR SOMEONE, but sent Melky Cabrera to the plate. He fouled out on a two-seamer that could be described as middle-middle-in.

Terry Francona bursts into cimbers as the soot lords demand a baseball for each of their children. A small consulting firm in Des Moines advises that the soot lords should negotiate by offering a packaged that includes Jason Kipnis singling home Yonder Alonso, the Comerica Steppes, and Typical Fashion. Mike Clevinger sneezes on the Preakness. Michael Brantley disapproves while learning bowmanship and cackling in a small South Dakota town on Jacoby Jones’s back. The Huns have no choice but to....