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Trevor Bauer earns a win in a game that should have been called due to rain

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Seriously. Why did we have to let the White Sox get a couple of pity runs?

Chicago White Sox v Cleveland Indians Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images

The Cleveland Indians won the baseball game tonight and as I watched it I remarked to myself hah oh dear how strange is it that the bottom of the order is once again carrying the team and it had been the yanimal before because that former silver slugger was quiet stroking the ball the past few days and I’m not saying that just to say it he really did look like he was the former silver slugger self and imagine that if the Yan Gomes we know and love now became the Yan Gomes that just straight up murdered people at the plate for 3-4 WAR in the past like seriously bro talk about lethal my point which I have gotten away from is to say that man that bottom of the order has been a power bottom of the order it’s just taking charge and driving in the runs but tonight the catcher in the power bottom of the order was Roberto Perez and he didn’t leave anything on the table for the Cleveland Indians because he managed to go 2-3 with 2 RBI and a walk tonight and let’s just discuss his bottom friend Jason Kipnis because first of all it is strange to talk about Jason Kipnis as a bottom of the order hitter and he hit eighth tonight but man did he deliver because he went 3-4 with a dinger and scored two runs and it’s as if he knew that he might get optioned or waived or benched or something and to a certain extent I’m kind of mad because I want Yandy Diaz to get called up and if you’ve made it this far you know that I’m a proponent of Yandy which isn’t to say that I want Kip to fail not at all I want him to catch a dope Alley-Oop base from Brantley and flush it through the damn hoop for a grand slam so hard that Lebron shows up the next day and goes “Look man we could use a solid 2-guard you tryin’ to play?” but Kip knows he’s going to hit the walk-off we all thought he hit in game 7 in 2016 of the World Series except that this time it’s game 4 of the World Series because his Indians are sweeping the fuck out of the Nationals but let me talk about Lonnie Chisenhall again because Lonnie Chisenhall was a huge prospect once and since Lonnie Chisenhall came back up from injury he’s been playing like Lonnie Chisenhall major prospect and tonight as part of the middle of the order hitting sixth he went 1-2 but drove in a run and scored one while walking twice and looking pretty dope in the outfield overall and let’s talk about walks because hot diggity the Indians drew seven walks tonight and yes you’re absolutely right I’m writing the recap this way because there is a rain delay but you’re completely lying if you say that you haven’t enjoyed it and I know that that’s true because Michael Brantley slugged the ball like an All-Star today and has a fringe shot at becoming one again let’s talk about it sit down and hash it out bruh come on bruh let’s go bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh two hits tonight and hitting .322/.365/.522 I’ll quit my job and start a company laying astroturf on freeways if you tell me that those numbers aren’t a welcome sign and no Michael Brantley is not the god that we thought he might be at one point in history but also at a certain point in history we thought that Justinian would casually stroll into Western Europe and take all the old Roman provinces back but real talk Belisarius deserves more criticism than he is given for his inability to control officer under him and anxiousness to make a name for himself and the plague is the major thing that destroyed Justinian’s hopes to truly restore Rome and in the same way we will never have the Brantlantium we all thought we would but man it’s just nice to see Michael contributing again and you know what I haven’t even talked about Trevor tonight and he sure did throw the baseballs because he struck out eight in seven innings and allowed only three hits and gave up two walks but man that is the baseball when you are talking about starting pitchers because seven innings of shutout baseball is very good and honestly I hope Hawkeye’s family all died because the Ultimates storyline for him in the MCU is pretty lazy and if they manage to pivot it so that we can get a solo movie based on Fraction’s run I’d be pretty stoked but let’s get real that won’t happen I think we’ll get an Ant Man / Sim Ant crossover before a solo Hawkeye movie which is all to point out that my goodness we’re in a long rain delay and it’s a longer one than I expected because I really started writing like this to entertain myself during the delay and here we are 855 words later just ignoring all normal punctuation and grammatical conventions and no you’ll never be as cool as Molly Bloom with her like ninety pages of block text and we can talk about Ulysses for like nine days if you want to but apparently the Indians have announced that they’re going to start the game at 10:10 and as I write this it is three minutes from now and I said yes I want to keep seeing baseball yes and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my stats all saber yes and his heart was going mad and yes I said yes they’re true yes but of course like everything in life nothing gets resolved in a single day and nobody is Stephen Daedelus and nobody is Leopold Bloom and honestly that’s probably for the best in the long run and we have lost the shutout it is gone we have lost the shutout oh god it is starting this is where we lose the whole damn thing isn’t it I’m going to burst into flames ah but no it is okay this has not burst into flames while it is no longer a shutout things are fine everything is fine we are fine the Cleveland Indians have won the game this evening and nobody is dead which at the end of any game is really the thing we should meditate upon isn’t it?