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Corey Kluber tosses amethyst cabochon in 3-2 victory over the Royals

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Don’t you dare tell me it was a different type of gem

Kansas City Royals v Cleveland Indians Photo by Ron Schwane/Getty Images

Pop the champagne, gentleman.

While the Indians officially locked up the AL Central crown yesterday when the Twins loss, they’ll celebrate it today in style after beating the Kansas City Royals 3-2. Corey Kluber casually dominated the Royals by striking out nine and allowing three hits in seven innings of work. The Indians recorded only three hits, but they provided enough fuel for three runs thanks to an Edwin Encarnacion bomb and a Giovanny Urshela fielder’s choice RBI.

The Indians are only seven wins away from reaching 100 total victories for the third time in team history.

Regarding Cleveland Indians starter Corey Kluber:

Beauty.

Some people picture red curls tumbling across a freckled shoulder. Others imagine the forests and foam of Acadia National Park, brushing against both their hands and the horizon at once.

I tend to think of Corey Kluber’s breaking ball.

We’re all familiar with the .gifs of hitters waving a bat after the pitch, solemnly nodding to themselves, and then walking back to the dugout in silence. They are glorious. I think even more remarkable are pitches on which a hitter leans out over the plate or checks his swing when the ball ends up in the opposite box. How is it possible that a pitch that far from the strike zone can appear to be within it at any point? Kluber snapped off a few pitches like this today. I’m no expert when it comes to pitch tunnelling, but I am willing to bet that research would show Kluber’s breaking ball features the best combination of late break and overall movement.

It certainly moves my heart.

Tyler Olson still owns an ERA of 0.00.

Tyler Olson allowed a two-out, two run single to Brandon Moss in the top of the 8th inning. More important is the glorious backdoor curveball thrown on a 1-2 count immediately prior.

Both of the runs fall into Bryan Shaw’s ERA column, but how does this affect Olson’s journey toward the most consecutive appearances without allowing a run? Technically Olson did just allow two, but they weren’t earned. Does anyone know what the ramifications are for the streak? Does he get an asterisk now if it is considered scoreless?

If it’s now right out, we can say unequivocally, that unofficially, he remains unblemished. As the call-same numbers suggest, it’s not an automatic call against a lefty. Should lefties have a different strikezone than righties? No, but whatever, that’s the world we live in. I understand that it isn’t the worst call of all-time, then. I understand, but I don’t care. Olson didn’t particularly care for it either, as he slump his shoulders and shook his head while striding to the dugout. That mistake put the Royals within a swing of the bat of stealing the game. They did not, thank goodness, because Cody Allen came in and did Cody Allen things.

This is a brief message to all of the people in the bleachers during April and May who yelled that Edwin should go back to Canada/the Dominican Republic because he was a lousy no-good bum.

I know that you don’t feel stupid, because you people are the type who also believe that defensive shifts are stupid and that the world is actually a timecube created in 1884 when meridian time personnel met in Washington to change Earth time to ensheeple us all.

Well, know that it’s Edwin’s world now, regardless of what you think is going on in it. The Indians’ slugger schlahdorped home run number 36 on the season. He may very well reach 40 for third time in six seasons. His overall offensive numbers will lag behind a little bit due to hitting far fewer doubles, but when you sign someone Encarnacion’s age you should build some decline into your expectations.

That, and he’s always bad in April, you idiots.

How’s that celebration coming along?

I don’t know about you, but I think winning 22 looks pretty phenomenal.

The Indians’ current 2-game unbeaten streak is guaranteed to last at least one more day. They do not play tomorrow for what feels like the first time in four months. Given the pandemonium in the above clip, I have a feeling they’ll appreciate the rest.