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Dear Samsung,
Hey there. First off, I’m a big fan of your phones and you didn’t even have to pay for me to say this. My Note 5 has done me a lot of good, even if I bought it a couple years late because I went looking for a Note 7 the day before some news broke about it and it “wasn’t in stock” anywhere. But good stuff overall, Samsung. The pen is neat and it fits in my giant ape hands.
Now, with that said, a recent realization has made your products completely unusable for me. Your cookie emoji. What is wrong with you?
Only reason I hate having a Samsung phone is because I can never give @Cookie_Carrasco his proper kudos pic.twitter.com/GWMDfHV69r
— Phil Kehres (@LGT_PhilK) July 8, 2017
Fellow Let’s Go Tribe writer Phil Kehres pointed it out on Twitter last night, but he’s far from the first to recognize the atrocity that is your “cookie” emoji.
Damn you, Samsung. Look at this travesty. Saltine crackers instead of a cookie emoji. Why…? pic.twitter.com/Y7ZBxgvHNF
— Nathan ♌hner (@TheFinalMan) July 6, 2017
On Samsung... The cookie emoji looks like crackers.... I am so sad right now.
— Julie Hubschman (@juliehubs) July 5, 2017
I just noticed the cookie emojis in my name look like crackers on samsung. Theyre supposed to b chocolate chip cookies ive been deceived
— Oreo@TFPhell (@FrostyOreos) July 1, 2017
So i just found out samsung doesn't have a cookie emoji but if i use saltine crackers it shows up as a cokkie on iphone?¿
— Re (@ReannaBarringer) June 25, 2017
But I do believe Phil is the first to realize it limits our ability, as Indians fans, to properly celebrate Carlos Carrasco, such as last night when he shut down the division rival Detroit Tigers.
Just look at my timeline as an Indians fan and a Samsung owner. It’s a saltine cracker party, when I should be getting showered by cookie emojis celebrating Carlos Carrasco’s big night.
Why are you punishing your most loyal customers like this, Samsung?
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Maybe worst of all, you seem to have a good reputation among Indians players themselves. Jose Ramirez is apparently a big fan of your VR headsets, and it led to one of the purest moments of joy we have ever witnessed with a grown human being. But now this? Saltine betrayal? I thought we were buds, Samsung? You even tweeted my post about Jose’s VR mishap.
According to some in-depth, professional, rigorous research, you first changed the emoji back in 2015 in an effort to make your entire collection of emojis more eye-catching.
Samsung made the cookie emoji a cracker http://t.co/NKx6ym796z pic.twitter.com/qvuQMvNwtW
— Emoji ⭐ (@GetEmoji) October 11, 2015
Two years ago is a century in internet time, which is good news for you. You could use an emoji refresh anyway, no one expects you to keep the same ones for so long. Google came to their senses and got rid of those obnoxious blobs. Now it’s your turn to bring back the cookie. Do the right thing, Samsung. Do it for Cookie.
Now, how do we go about making this right? It’s simple: You change your cookie emoji to an actual cookie and not a cracker. Or send me a VR headset and a new phone. Indians fans will be happy with either one, I’m pretty sure. Just trust me on this.