Yan Gomes and Brandon Guyer take one for the team to keep Indians streak alive

Oh, man! What a matchup! Corey Kluber against Jose Qu—lol, nope… the Chicago White Sox traded him away, so Miguel Gonzalez is one of the five men in their current rotation, and the one who drew the Kluber straw.

Bradley Zimmer got the message that Gonzalez isn’t very good and started the game off with a walk. Francisco Lindor did not get that message and sacrificed Zimmer to second — Frankie gonna bunt it like it’s 1917. To the surprise of nobody, giving Miguel Gonzalez a free out was a bad idea and the Indians failed to score in the inning.

Gomer/Yolmer*/Volner Sanchez found himself in the same situation as Lindor in the bottom of the first, and despite his .257/.316/.384 line, even he didn’t lay down a bunt. They didn’t score either.

In the second, Austin Jackson hit a fly ball to Alen Hanson that had a 31 percent chance of being a hit. Hanson dropped the ball and injured his eye in the process. That put runners at second and third for Yan Gomes, who hit a sac fly.

The next inning, a Michael Brantley sac fly made it 2-0. Next, Encarnaion made it 3-0 with a base hit. Hanson had a hand in that inning too, throwing to the wrong base early in it. Austin Jackson made it 4-0 with a ground rule double, improving him to 10-for-his-prior-19 at the plate.

Jose Abreu took a huge chunk out of that with a three-run homer at a time when Tom Hamilton was getting really cocky about this series. Abreu shoulda bunted.

In the fifth, Michael Brantley hit a ground rule double, but an actual blind umpire ruled it a home run. Can you imagine if instant replay reviews didn’t exist for this one? Brantley was not brought around to score. Shoulda bunted him over and in.

Chicago tied the game at 4 in the bottom of the 6th on a double that had a 22 percent chance of going for a hit. Baseball was a mistake from day one.

With the game tied at four, the Indians faced a problem: The stellar Chicago bullpe—nope, lol, nevermind—they traded all of that away, too. Tyler Clippard was in for the seventh, who took this slow game to a whole new level of slowness. He loaded the bases for Jackson, who quickly flied out. At least it was quick. I guess. Boy would I have loved Lonnie to be batting there.

Andrew Miller cleaned up a seventh inning mess but created one of his own in the 8th. Jose Ramirez’s defense didn’t help. We as a country need to start assuming double plays. But Miller didn’t care; he got out of this mess too.

Stuff got fun again in the ninth, when back-to-back hit-by-pitches of Yan Gomes and Brandon Guyer gave the Indians the lead. Gregory Infante has something against five-letter "G" dudes, apparently.

Cody Allen had a dominant drama-free ninth to end it. He is #good.

* This one is correct