Indians bats go missing, nonsense ensues as Giants scratch out the win

If you’re ever trying to convince a casual fan that baseball isn’t boring, don’t show them the tape of this game. Especially not if you’re trying to convince them to root for the Indians.

This game followed an all-too-common pattern as of late: a Tribe starter performed above expectations while the best Indians bats did jack squat and the defense did its best to emulate the archetypical little leaguer picking dandelions in the outfield. All the while, we were treated to the philosophical musings of Rick Manning and Matt Underwood, who baffled themselves and their viewers continuously about why the Indians can’t hit with RISP.

The misadventures of Andrew Miller and Cody Allen in the 8th and 9th might have been insignificant had the offense scored more than one damn run. But alas, they didn’t, and so the Giants strung together a series of nonsense for the walkoff victory. I know this is a family site and all, but this game can best be summed up in one word: bullshit. Rather than give you the full blow-by-blow, I’m just going to outline the bullshit highlights for your nauseous pleasure.

• As mentioned, the Indians only scored one damn run. That run was driven in by a one out Brandon Guyer triple. Guyer was able to get in some great practice for his post-retirement Venice beach mime/statue gig as two of the team’s best hitters failed to drive him in. Francisco Lindor couldn’t manage a weak pop-up, and Michael Brantley wasn’t much better.
• Guyer later undid the one good thing he’s done all season by mangling a can-o-corn into a two base error, putting Eduardo Nunez on 3rd. Nunez came around to score on a Buster Posey single.
• Even with the circus error, Guyer had the highest WPA of any Tribe hitter at .03
• The Indians had played a record 84 straight games since they’re last extra inning game this season. Of course, they picked the first night I was scheduled to write a recap in months.
• Andrew Miller pitched a 1-2-3 8th, but then walked back-to-back hitter to start the 9th. It was the first time he’s done that since the Dodgers series. Fortunately, Cody Allen bailed him out of a bases-loaded situation. Little did we know at the time that this was because Allen wanted the opportunity to blow it for himself.
• After an absolutely pathetic showing by Tribe hitters in the top of the 10th, Allen allowed a leadoff double in the bottom. Though the ball was struck well, a better 1t baseman might’ve snagged it - the ball appeared to skip just over Edwin Encarnacion’s glove.
• Since the Giants are trash, they tried to give up an out by sac bunting. Only problem was Allen gave up on fielding the bunt because - I dunno, I guess he expected Erik Gonzalez to field it? It was baffling and maddening and just one of the stupidest things to happen in a whole stupid game. It set up the walkoff seeing-eye single from Nunez, much to the delight of the 14 Giants fans left at the park.

So I guess I’ll stop doing bullet points now. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to end this recap altogether now, as well. I’ve had enough of thinking about this game. There’s another one to play tomorrow, and the Indians can still take the series. More good news is that Carlos Carrasco is on the mound, so maybe some happy things will happen. So until then, to all three people who are reading this as it gets posted, get some rest. Come back refreshed and reading to root for another thrilling victory by this Tribe juggernaut.