*rubs bridge of nose*
The Indians promoted a hot dog today. That’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever written, and I’ve written some pretty weird things. But one of the Indians’ famous hot dog racers— Onion, Mustard, and Ketchup — suffered a case of
soggy buns yesterday, after an alleged White Sox fan dumped water on him prior to the Indians game, seen below:
Poor Ketchup.— #VoteTribe 5x a day (@Indians) June 10, 2017
A White Sox fan doused him in water after the third. Wonder if this will affect Ketchup going forward. pic.twitter.com/KABsLFTOYN
During the seventh-inning stretch, when the hot dog trio ran their scheduled race, Ketchup couldn’t complete the race because of
his soggy buns. You can see it happen live in all its blurry Periscope glory here:
Derby Time... How will Ketchup perform after his run-in with the Sox fan?! https://t.co/Pu8YIWvC1k— #VoteTribe 5x a day (@Indians) June 10, 2017
Then, like a beacon, a similar hot dog from the Columbus Clippers, named
*Jesus Christ, you guys*
Rickey Relish received word that he’d gotten the call to the big leagues.
He is now reportedly in-house and ready to take on Onion and Mustard at the derby today.
Some background on Relish: He apparently used to be a creepy eye-less monstrosity seven years ago, if this unofficial Facebook page is to be believed.
Stay weird, baseball. Stay weird, Indians. A hot dog isn’t a sandwich, don’t @ me.