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Indians cruise to series win against Twins

After months of adversity, the Tribe finally have a .500 record against the worst team in the division. EDIT: JUST KIDDING I'M NOT SMART AND CAN'T READ. WE'RE 4-5 AGAINST THEM.

Marilyn Indahl-USA TODAY Sports

Indians 6, Twins 1

Box Score

Indians improve to 54-37


Okay, Jobu. We understand. You are not going to give the Indians anything that they already do not have. If that's how you feel, it's not a problem. The Indians can sacrifice chickens and perform exorcisms and demolish rival pokemon go gyms, but we understand that it won't help us win the baseball.

Still, why did you feel the need to attack the man we asked you to assist? This is not what spiritual help looks like:

F*^& you, Jobu. We do it ourselves.

Yan tried to beat out a throw to first and took an awkward tumble after stepping on the bag. He just murdered a grocery store chicken for the gods. No relief, it seems. He did slap another single today, but a serious shoulder injury does not appear to be something the catcher would quickly bounce back from.

According to Hamilton, Yan will be examined by top men at Cleveland Clinic,

Top. Men.

Aside from the injury, the Indians still won today without too much difficulty. Josh Tomlin threw 7.2 innings of baseball, allowing five hits, one walk (GASP), one run, four strikeouts, and an earned run. While I rag him a little bit about his sabermetric stats not quite lining up with his win-loss record, I am not overly concerned. If he keeps winning games, that's perfectly fine. WHIP and FIP and all of their friends can take a hike, even if they're a better indicator of performance than Tomlin's ten wins. Honestly, it doesn't make a lot of sense. Tomlin appears to be having one of these years where pretty much everything breaks his way. I am zero percent angry about it.

Tyler Naquin hit yet another home run, this one a low pitch to deep center. Will Tyler Naquin ever regress? No. It's just time to accept the fact that he's progressed from hitting balls in play and will only launch them out of the field of play now.

Mike Napoli teed off as well, hitting his second homer in as many days. Both he and Carlos Santana sit at twenty home runs. It's almost certain that one of the two will break the 30 dingerz barrier, but Jason Kipnis is giving the mark a run for it's money as well. He swatted his 15th dong of the year to left center in the bottom of the ninth.

As far at the Twins are concerned, Max Kepler scored the only run on a deep drive to right field. If you've never heard of him before this series, that's fine. Kepler is a 23-year-old born in Berlin, Germany. This is rookie year with the Twins. While you might have expected Byron Buxton to make the leap and stick with the team first, Kepler has the advantage of not getting hurt in every possible way. I wonder whether or not he's going to be an asset for the Twins before they call up Stephen Brahe. OOTP seems to think he's a guaranteed Hall of Famer, but I've got my fingers crossed we don't have to deal with that caliber of play in the division.

A quick note before moving on: every single Indians hitter notched a hit today except for late fielding substitute Erik Gonzalez. I hope he becomes the kind of player that does not require an explanation in the future.

Now that the Twins are out of the way, the Tribe will start a series against the Royals. As ludicrous as it sounds, the Royals are the defending World Series champions at 46-45.