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Bartolo Colon vs. Juan Uribe may be one of the heaviest match-ups ever

530 pounds of man. One at-bat.

Ken Blaze-USA TODAY Sports

In the second inning of tonight's Indians-Mets game, Bartolo Colon faced off against Juan Uribe. Here are the vitals:

Colon:
5'11"
285 lbs
42 years old

Uribe:
6'0"
245 lbs
37 years old

At 530 lbs, this may be the heaviest at-bat we witness in the Major Leagues this entire season. It is certainly the jolliest. There's a chance that it will also be the oldest, but I'm willing to bet that Ichiro and Colon will face off against each other when the Mets and Marlins meet in June. Because they have to. It's written in the dust of the stars that have been born and died in their lifespans.

Uribe snapped an 0-18 hitless strike to win the battle. Other recent heavy match-ups have included CC Sabathia waggling his gut to distract Prince Fielder into a flyout, and Fielder using Bartolo Colon for a gravitational assist on three different hits.

Keep your eyes peeled on Jonathan Broxton this season, as well. Baseball Reference lists him — QUITE GENEROUSLY — at 285 lbs. Freddie Freeman is not a fat man, but his at-bat against Broxton tipped the scales to 510 lbs.

I know it's unlikely, but the Mets play the Cardinals in July. Conditioning may falter as the season wears on. Will we bear witness to a 600 lb at bat?