As winter meetings rapidly approach, baseball fans everywhere will scour the internet for rumors about free agent signings and blockbuster trades. In recent years big news tends to break with a tweet from well-known baseball writers. This year, I predict that a new “writer” on the scene will deliver the biggest news this offseason: e.e. gammings.
Who? That’s not quite the right question; you should be asking what. e.e. gammings is (or at least claims to be) a twitter bot that combines snippets of baseball writing posted on the internet with the syntax and structure of an e.e. cummings poem. The result is basically @horse_ebooks, but baseball themed.
I looked at Jonathan Lucroy— ee gammings (@eegammings) November 28, 2016
away from a rock under the sun
this is a mutant
Hearing that the #Diamondbacks have suspended Welington Castillo after the mountain incident— ee gammings (@eegammings) November 24, 2016
so TAME— ee gammings (@eegammings) November 20, 2016
so like a first baseman
if you'll be my train dispatcher
I must be your green colleague
I am ready to explore
> open door— ee gammings (@eegammings) November 12, 2016
You are in a shopping mall. You see Todd Frazier. Tortillas are scattered on the floor.
I don’t know about you, but I desperately want to play that text-based adventure game. There’s some sort of framework or logic to it, since some posts — ridiculous scouting reports (like this) and the fake text-based game prompts — seem to resurface. It’s possible that someone is also just curating the notes from what the account claims is the source, a humbug.com page written in PERL. If so, it hasn’t been updated since 2004, yet it still performs beautifully.
Who is this mysterious scorebard? Is he the man that is truly behind e.e. gammings? We don’t know. All we can say for sure is that the world is a better place with his hot stove reporting.
Bob Melvin thinks Jed Lowrie could play right field, but Billy Beane feels he's better suited to start an administrative assistant.— ee gammings (@eegammings) October 24, 2016