Terry Francona couldn’t sleep last night so he ordered $44 of ice cream

Terry Francona is human. Humans get nervous. Some humans choose to deal with their nerves in spectacular ways.

You may remember Terry Francona from such moments as eating seventeen popsicles and losing a tooth while chewing tobacco.

How much, exactly, is $44 worth when it comes to ice cream? We’re talking about Chicago hotel room service prices, so there is a little bit of inflation involved. However, let’s consider some of the more popular chains to get an idea.

A “gotta have it” sized ice cream from Cold Stone is approximately 12 ounces. According to Google, it currently goes for $5.75. At Cold Stone, Francona could have eaten 91.2 ounces of ice cream for $44, or 5.7 pounds.

Had Tito decided to go for yogurt, he might have gotten a little less bang for his buck. My research suggests that TCBY currently charges about $0.50 per ounce, which would have put 88 ounces of frozen delight into Tito’s mouth.

What about pizza? Chicago is famous for its deep dish pies. As a local resident, I feel that Lou Malnati’s is not only the best but also a fair representative of the style (don’t @ me). I just ordered a pizza from Lou’s, and Tito could have gotten two large deep-dish pizzas delivered for $44.

If he’d decided that it was time for another binge on Popsicles, Tito might have had the best time of all. A case of 20 popsicles costs $3.92 at Wal-Mart, meaning Francona could have gorged on about 224 popsicles for $44.

No matter how you look at it, $44 is going to buy you a pretty good time in the middle of the night if you can’t sleep.