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Trevor Bauer received a special gift from Cubs fans that I hope he never opens

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You sly pooches.

Chicago Cubs fans are obviously huge fans of Trevor Bauer. Why else would they send him a thoughtful gift based around his favorite... hobby... oh.

Listen Jason Mollett, I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you never send another drone, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will high five you because this was actually really creative and funny thank you.

The drone, of course, is an allusion to the fact that Bauer missed 98% of his ALCS start because he lacerated his pinky on his throwing hand when a rogue drone turned on by accident and bit Bauer’s finger like a bloodthirsty vampire.

Trevor is free to do what he wants in between starts, but maybe this once, don’t open the drone box. Besides, I cannot imagine Jason spent a whole lot on a gag gift, and Bauer probably has drones worth more than my car, house, and life combined. Just save it as a memento, maybe.