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Cleveland Indians player ages according to Microsoft's new age detection robot

Robots can do a lot of cool things, but can they figure out how old Michael Bourn is?

Eric Thayer/Getty Images

Earlier this week at their annual Build Developer Conference, Microsoft unveiled a new web app that can supposedly detect how old a person is based on a single image. Given how important age is in the game of baseball and the allure of player's lying to get a couple extra years of playtime, it seemed like a good use of my time left on this Earth to see just how accurate how-old.net actually is.

SP - Trevor Bauer7HehZJu.0.jpg

Actual age: 24
Incorrect! Nice try robot overlords, but Bauer is only 24, not 26. Although if it does turn out that Trevor lied about his age it could explain why the Diamondbacks traded him for Didi Gregorius.

RP - Scott AtchisonovXX7x9.0.jpg

Actual age: 39
Incorrect! Another close guess for Microsoft, but not quite close enough as they join the long list of people surprised at just how old Atchison really is.

C - Yan Gomes

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Actual age: 27
Incorrect! An unfortunate side effect of Gomes' rehabilition effort is that he has aged 11 years in the past month. Stop it.

OF - Michael Bourn

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Actual age: 32
Incorrect: lol, no.

1B - Carlos Santana

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Actual age: 29
Correct! Amazing! It took it a few tries, but the age detection finally got one right with this image of beloved Indians first baseman Carlos Santana. Maybe there is hope after all for this robot.

3B - Lonnie Chisenhall

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Actual age: 26
Incorrect! Even Microsoft's algorithms want Lonnie to get to his prime already.

P - Corey Kluber

Actual age: 7
Correct! The Klubot was manufactured in a Southern California laboratory in early 2008.

Terry Francona

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Actual age: 56
Incorrect! Like baseball's Dorian Gray, Terry Francona doesn't age. Instead, the Indians bullpen slowly withers away with each passing year.

OF - Michael Brantley

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Actual age: 27
Incorrect! Dr. Smooth isn't smooth enough to fool this face detection, as he's outed as a grumpy 32-year-old construction worker.

P - Roberto(?) Hernandez(?)

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Actual age: 34(?)
Incorrect! (Correct?) Honestly, who knows.

Slider

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Actual age: ???
Quitter.