All these offseason moves (or lack of offseason moves) can make a baseball fan a little testy over the course of five months. We have all seen some arguments here and everywhere else on the Internet, so now is your chance to prove you are a veteran of arguing about a bunch of dudes hitting a ball with a stick.
When was your first baseball-related argument that you can remember? It does not have to be something about the Cleveland Indians, just anything baseball. And I am talking full-on friendship losing, yelling, angrily fist-waving arguments if you have them. Not minor scuffles about who should be hitting first or second.
I do not have anything too crazy, but the earliest I can remember is in fifth grade. I was beginning to get really into tracking stats thanks to years of playing Major League Baseball Featuring Ken Griffey Jr. on the N64. The stats were just home runs, RBI, runs, average, and that sort of things, but it was a start and I loved doing it.
That year, in one of my fifth-grade classes, we had to make baseball cards for ourselves. I will be damned if I can remember why, I just remember we had to give ourselves our own stats and use a school picture on the front. Well, after we were done and showing them to each other, I noticed all of my friends’ cards had fewer RBI than they did home runs. I asked why, and they were adamant that you do not count yourself as an RBI when you hit a home run.
I repeatedly told them they were wrong and, even if they were right, it could not make sense that they would hit so many solo home runs as to have fewer RBI than home runs. One of the kids' dads was even of our tee-ball coach when we were in first grade, so it blew my mind that he would get it so wrong.
Even the teacher agreed with them and they were allowed to keep the blasphemous stats on their baseball cards. After school, I asked every adult I could find and they all knew I was right, but by the time I went into school the next day no one cared and I was left to stew on it.
So, here, 15 years later screw you Mrs. Hetz, you can’t have more home runs than RBI.