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Indians Wednesday News & Notes: Clinchers, Rib-Pinchers, and a Kayak

Cleveland won, which is nice, but to what end?

Fat Joe! Had to do it.
Fat Joe! Had to do it.
Bob Levey

I had an extra glass of red wine last night.

Yesterday's game

The Tribe won, which is good, I guess. Kluber did Kluber stuff, defeating the Astros, and he set or tied a number of obscure records that you'll surely tell your grandchildren about, inaccurately. The recaps:

LGT: Corey Kluber sets career high with 14 strikeouts as Indians beat Astros

PD: Corey Kluber strikes out 14 as Cleveland Indians beat Houston, end 4-game losing streak
MLB: Kluber, Tribe keep push alive with win

Indians news

Antonetti proud, lousy Cy Kluber joke, Raburn MRI: Hoynes with the quick hits | cleveland.com — Just yesterday we heard Raburn might have an MRI, and today it's confirmed! Unbelievable! Also buried in here -- Nick Swisher is Cleveland's nominee for the Roberto Clemente award, for sportsmanship and stuff. Umm...really? Times have changed.

Walters day to day with rib soreness | indians.com — Dr. Tito is on the case: "Structurally, he's good, so we know it's a soft tissue issue," Francona said. Ah, the soft tissue organ. I see, Dr. Tito.

Around the majors

Bryce Harper wears custom fire helmet during title celebration | HardballTalk — This stood out for me. It's kind of weird only he got one, right?

Orioles beat Blue Jays to clinch AL East | HardballTalk — No Machado, Davis, or Wieters? No problem! Comparing Nelson Cruz's and Nick Swisher's contracts makes me nauseous.

Rays give Derek Jeter a kayak and a Don Zimmer jersey | HardballTalk —  That's a big kayak. I bet it'll take Jeter a while to get the number two off it and give it away.

Sad sack news

The Orioles and Nationals both clinched the division, proving that sad sacks do come good every once in a while. Mel Blanc had a GI bit about sad sacks -- weird to watch if you grew up on Porky Pig.