Well, it's Friday the 13th. Friday the 13th is supposed to be creepy and weird and stuff, so we're going to have a Soylent curveball. I'm going to construct the entire article from the green of a single game. How does everyone feel about trying this?
Sweet, he was a first round draft pick. This is going to be a gift for all of you.
Well, it's not just for Chuck, but okay. I'm just afraid I might see some serious backlash from this.
You know what? Haters are going to hate. I'm glad you're here for me. Let's set the scene.
...between them, they finish a regulation sized bottle of Jack Daniels. The priest and the rabbi both then ordered beers, but Ubaldo left after the fifth.
You're right, of course. Second-half Ubaldo deserves more respect than that. That's a little bit of a jerk move on my part.
WHOA, BACK OFF. IT'S THE MAN'S B-DAY!
Well, I felt it was warranted. It's not every day someone turns 100, and the man deserves a little respect for that. Throw up a fist if you're willing to go to battle for Chuck.
Thanks, Ubaldo. I tell you what, the year gets so long in September that it's hard to remember the beginning of the season sometimes.
I feel like the person who made that comment just fabricated that memory out of whole cloth. Maybe he just wanted to put one in the ol'd W column, but I'm calling bull crap on it.
Nope, you've gotta earn the good times here. Just ask Chuck. Anyway, let's get right to our green of the week, which is kind of just a green of the day due to this week's Friday the 13th gimmick. Whatever, here it is.
Fat jokes about the Tigers have become kind of a thing around here, likely because many of the Tigers are fat and we're looking for reasons to besmirch them that don't involve their obviously superior baseball talent. Let's run those chunky dudes down in the standings, probably while they're stopping for burgers. Here's the rest of your week/day in green.
To Whom It May Concern
I feel like that's good enough for now. Please come back again next week, when I'll still be a hack but maybe I'll be less obvious about it.