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Soylent Green is People: 6/7

Hello, my name is Dr. Green Thumb

This week just hurt.
This week just hurt.
Jason Szenes

Welcome back, gang! I've heard rumors going around that sports fans live and die by what happens in the weekly Soylent Green column here on LGT.

Yeah because sports fans only think what ESPN tells them to think.
by Buckeye Brad on Jun 3, 2013 | 4:59 PM up reply rec (3)

We got onto ESPN? Even better. No such thing as bad publicity. I hear the guy who write Soylent Green is insanely talented.

And yet he’s such a despicable prick
"I don’t care if it’s Mother Teresa, if she was wearing a Yankee uniform, I’d still boo her." - mauichuck
by Turkmenbashi on Jun 1, 2013 | 6:21 PM up reply rec (6) flag

Well, yeah. Can't be all things to all people. Back on the subject of "bad" publicity, sources are telling me that Chris Perez's legal team is preparing a defense built around the assertion that Perez was trying to Google this feature and, through some accident of autocorrect, mistakenly ordered a pound of weed instead. I can't believe they'll be able to get anyone to buy that Chris Perez is that stupid, though.

I think you’re grossly underestimating how stupid Chris Perez is.
Artist formerly known as "グラディ・マン夫人" (Gradysmanldy)
by Josh Finney on Jun 5, 2013 | 11:58 AM up reply rec (6)

Okay, maybe that's a fair point. Still, I hope whatever happens, Perez doesn't land in jail. I've heard the company in the prison showers is somewhat less than personable.

Well, it’s the humidity, of course, that’s really bad.
by YoDaddyWags on Jun 3, 2013 | 5:50 PM up reply rec (5)

I suppose that depends on your perspective. If he does wind up incarcerated, maybe we can all get together and put together an LGT care package for him. Is there any limit on what we would be able to send his way?

if it fits, it ships.
Motto every Cleveland fan should live by, "Hope for the best, expect the worst."
Only cowards wave towels.
by PaduaDSP on Jun 5, 2013 | 3:29 PM up reply rec (3) flag

Good to know. Finally, I know this is way too big of a picture, but I'm a sucker for anything related to Calvin and Hobbes.

This is what it looks like when Clint Frazier hits a baseball
by VA tribe fan on Jun 6, 2013 | 7:56 PM up reply rec (4) flag

On to the rest of the week in recs.

Masterson, Jimenez, and pray for Biogenesis?
"I don’t care if it’s Mother Teresa, if she was wearing a Yankee uniform, I’d still boo her." - mauichuck
by Turkmenbashi on Jun 4, 2013 | 10:28 PM up reply rec (4)

If the Indians make the playoffs, I will be too busy doing the happy dance to care about whom they are playing.
by mtg8 on Jun 5, 2013 | 10:25 AM up reply rec (5)

And I forgot to empty out the great players before I just put mine in the wash.
by YoDaddyWags on Jun 6, 2013 | 8:48 AM up reply rec (3)

My wife hates Chord Phelps and actively roots against him, partly because he’s been terrible in Cleveland but mostly because his walkup music is "I’m Sexy and I Know It" in Columbus.
by Buckeye Brad on Jun 4, 2013 | 10:03 PM up reply rec (3) flag

Can the Tribe retroactively put Perez on the 15-day DL (glaucoma)?
by APV on Jun 5, 2013 | 11:19 AM replyrec (7)

Ah yes, the "Good Lord, what are you going to do with that much weed?" section of the Ohio Revised Code.
by Joel D on Jun 5, 2013 | 12:12 PM up reply 3 recs flag

I’ve used it. Mostly to add the word "f***."
by YoDaddyWags on Jun 5, 2013 | 1:35 PM up reply rec (4) flag

By the way, can we all agree that Harold Reynolds is wildly unqualified for his gig tonight?
Let's Go Tribe, SBNation's Cleveland Indians blog
by Jason Lukehart on Jun 6, 2013 | 7:30 PM reply rec (3) flag

They should’ve really looked into palliative hare options before jumping into anything.
"Sounds like 'Take the Z-Train' to me." -- Antoine Batiste
by T.O. Tribe on Jun 4, 2013 | 6:08 PM up reply rec (5)

Hopefully he doesn’t have a pattern easy for opposing pitchers to figure out and beat him every time.
by Brick. on Jun 6, 2013 | 10:06 PM up reply rec (3) flag

I can’t seem to focus on your question.
by Brick. on Jun 6, 2013 | 10:27 PM up reply rec (3) flag

That's as good a place as any to stop for another week. Are you guys about ready for me to wrap this thing up?

That might be the only thing the last five years have emotionally equipped me for
by APV on Jun 5, 2013 | 9:58 AM up reply rec (7)

I'll be honest, that feels like overkill. Enjoy your respective weekends, gang.