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Soylent Green is People: 6/21

And later that night, when its lights went out of sight Came the rec of the Edmund Fitzgerald

I had missed you, old friend.

Welcome back, comment fans! We've been doing this for what I'm assured the youth refer to as a hot minute, and I realized that you guys don't really know a lot about me. To get us started, I thought I would open it up for questions.

Were you ever married to Dennis Eckersley?
by Joel D on Jun 19, 2013 | 6:16 PM up reply 10 recs flag

Wow, that's a really weird start. No, I'm probably 25 years younger than the Eck and a heterosexual male. Also, he and I don't run in the same social circles.

But I posted the word JINX first. Don’t you know anything?
by Jay on Jun 16, 2013 | 3:27 PM up reply rec (3) flag

That's a little demeaning. I mean, I got mostly passing grades, so I must know some things. So yes... or no... how would I respond to this question to indicate I know things? It would be yes, right? "Yes, I know anything." I think that's it. Let's move on. I have time for more questions.

Does the dog also have the same court date?
by woodsmeister on Jun 16, 2013 | 3:44 PM up reply rec (3) flag

You know what? Maybe this would work better in person. Maybe we could all get together for a barbecue.

I’ll gather the dead horses.
"I will not now, nor will I ever, live in that tedious world where everything is either a) awesome or b) stinks." YDW
by USSChoo on Jun 14, 2013 | 8:19 PM up reply rec (4) flag

There's also the potential that it wouldn't work at all. Maybe I should just try not to associate myself with you all in public settings.

Okay, that's fair. I don't know if I'm going to make my favorite greens of the week a recurring thing or not, but this is absolutely brilliant.

Yes, Kipnis’ sermon on the mount is quite famous. Jason 5:13 and following, for instance:

13 "You are the salt of the Clubhouse spread. But if the chips lose their crispness, how can they be made crunchy again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

14 "You, Pestano, are the key to our nosh. A man perched on a mound cannot be hidden.

15 "Neither do people light the sterno and put it under the scalloped potatoes. While Royals clog, however unsteadily, the basepaths, the matches remain sheathed.

16 "In the same way, the coldcuts stay refrigerated until not one out has been recorded, nor even unto the second out, lest a shadow of Rage in his purest form cede the advantage and the contest continue into the wee morning hours.

17 "Uncork thy finest fastball, then, let the stopper of short toss unhurriedly to first, let the outs be thus recorded thrice, and let thy people eat."
by YoDaddyWags on Jun 19, 2013 | 2:56 PM up reply rec (14)

And now the rest of the week in green.

You are entitled to your opinion. You are not entitled to your opinion being viewed as valid.
"sometimes the internet is hard for me." - ClemsonGirl
by world dictator on Jun 18, 2013 | 8:40 PM up reply rec (3) flag

Are you sure? I was always taught that it was "Don’t talk about tease writing."
by Joel D on Jun 19, 2013 | 8:30 AM up reply 6 recs flag

I read this incorrectly.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Stability is overrated.
by emd2k3 on Jun 18, 2013 | 11:48 AM up reply rec (9)

Dang it, I just bought a Brad Langlelell jersey.
by Zaza Braggins on Jun 17, 2013 | 11:44 PM up reply rec (4) flag

He will make a triumphant return as Gandolfini the White.
You may run like Hayes, but you hit like shit.
by valhallas_own28 on Jun 19, 2013 | 9:16 PM up reply rec (3) flag

See, he’ll never call a guy an idiot for swinging at a ball in the dirt. But he’ll call a guy an idiot when they do something revealing that, unquestionably, THIS MAN IS AN IDIOT.
Formerly tabler84.
by Evan Dawson on Jun 19, 2013 | 9:55 PM up reply rec (4) flag

I’ve relayed this here before I think, but one of my favorite Tommy moments is Hafner’s walkoff in 2011. I had just detained someone for a trivial offense when Tommy started going nuts. I was at the very end of 55th at the lake and all the fishermen had the game on. I got my dude back out of the car and tore up his ticket. We high fives each other and a couple other people and headed off into the night.

Note: If anyone official asks, this story is apocryphal.
Formerly fwembt
Banners on the Parkway.
by Brad D on Jun 19, 2013 | 11:42 PM up reply rec (5)

I liked that interview if he did it for Grantland. If he was still with ESPN at the time, it obviously sucked.
by Joel D on Jun 20, 2013 | 10:51 AM up reply 6 recs flag

This. I’m so over the Hill.

i’m so very sorry
by Ellaybee on Jun 18, 2013 | 1:46 PM up reply rec (3)

Well that's another week in the books. Can anyone describe this year's series of Soylent Green posts?

Here you go: abhorrent, appalling, atrocious, awful, bad, beastly, crappy, cretinous, disastrous, disgusting, disturbing, dreaded, dreadful, egregious, fearful, frightful, ghastly, gross, gruesome, harrowing, hateful, hideous, horrendous, horrible, horrid, horrifying, inconvenient, insidious, invidious, jerky, loathsome, lousy, loutish, monstrous, obnoxious, odious, offensive, petrifying, poor, putrid, repulsive, revolting, ridiculous, rotten, shocking, terrible, unfortunate, unnerving, unpleasant, unwelcome, vile. Should keep you going for a while.
by YoDaddyWags on Jun 18, 2013 | 10:48 AM up reply rec (6)

Uncalled for and frankly hurtful. I hope the rest of you both enjoyed the post and learned a little more about the poster. Anyone take away something from this that they would like to share with the group?

You don’t have the goods :(
by The Guys Get Shirts! on Jun 18, 2013 | 1:26 PM up reply rec (6)

I'm not sure how you came away with that, and I don't think that's a very nice thing to say about me.

In this case it’s deserved. You don’t go into a friend’s house and immediately start telling everyone that the house smells, the cooking sucks and that you bet they use Jergens for unspeakable things.
by Ockus_NYC on Jun 19, 2013 | 6:46 PM up reply rec (7) flag


Yeah it did.