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Soylent Green is People: 6/14

You know I've got the greenery/ five g's in the mall ain't a thing to me

Get into whatever position you find comfortable; it's time for Soylent Green!
Get into whatever position you find comfortable; it's time for Soylent Green!

Hey gang! I think we can all agree that it's about time for another edition of Soylent Green to come rolling off the assembly line.

Of course this should happen. It should’ve happened a week ago.
by Cols714 on Jun 13, 2013 | 12:56 PM reply rec (3) flag

Uh, it did, actually. In fact, it happened the week before that, and every week since more or less the beginning of the season. I mean, I guess I could go every other week so you could then make this critique again. Does anyone have an opinion regarding my current schedule versus once a fortnight?

I liked your schedule better
by 27ftBaja on Jun 13, 2013 | 1:50 PM up reply rec (6) flag

Okay, once a week it is, then. I really appreciate your backing me up on that, 27ftBaja. Is there an appropriate way to express thanks in real life for a good deed done online?

Uh, is there like a pre-printed Hallmark card I could use?

I’d guess something along the lines of "you hold Hagadone’s arms, I’ll punch the living s** out of his guts"
BRB guys, gotta go shoot the clown
by Mr. Bad Example on Jun 10, 2013 | 10:29 PM up reply rec (5) flag

I think I'm going to ignore custom on this one, then. He'll have to settle for my gratitude. That's good enough among friends, right?

Among a Cleveland Indians fans who read LGT and like to listen podcasts, yes.
by Cols714 on Jun 10, 2013 | 3:53 PM up reply rec (6) flag

Good. I like to think we're sticking together, riding through the failures and triumphs of being Indians fans as a unit.

We’ve had triumphs? When? Was I in the bathroom?
by VA tribe fan on Jun 12, 2013 | 8:17 AM up reply rec (8) flag

Well, I'm sure they'll come. In the meantime, we can find our mini-triumphs along the way.

The Official gif of the Cory Kluber Society

Like that, for instance. Made that guy on the Red Sox look like a real doody head.

Seriously? What are you...13 years old?
Let's Go Tribe
by Ryan on Jun 12, 2013 | 11:35 AM up reply rec (3)

If only. I'm actually 8; I can't even watch a game in a bar.

You missed out. The 8 year olds at the bars are often the most entertaining.
by Penitent on Jun 12, 2013 | 11:31 AM up reply rec (3) flag

That's what I try to tell them. Nobody's willing to risk a liquor license on it. Before we get to the rest of the week in recs, I want to point out a couple of my favorites that I couldn't fit into the narrative above. First, a marijuana pun:

Lost in all this is any news on his recovery and return. I don’t think any of us suspected his problem was chronic.
by Ellaybee on Jun 7, 2013 | 2:00 PM reply rec (16)

And this one, which was fun for "Ubaldi," a word that nicely encapsulates what we go through with our erstwhile ace/fifth starer:

I agree that those of us who do not see the world through Ubaldo-colored glasses wouldn’t consider last night’s Ubaldo to be good Ubaldo. However, I will take fortunate Ubaldo or decent Ubaldo, because both of those Ubaldi are better than Ughbaldo, whom we saw last time out.
by mtg8 on Jun 13, 2013 | 8:16 AM up reply rec (14)

And now the best of the rest, or the rest of the best, or whatever.

Sounds to me like you could shut out the indians for 6 or 7 innings.
"I can very easily see a scenario in a couple of months where we’re talking about our starting rotation as a strength.’’ –CA
by westbrook on Jun 10, 2013 | 8:37 PM up reply rec (5)

Did your great grandfather build Fenway or something?

Why are you so touchy about this???
Let's Go Tribe, SBNation's Cleveland Indians blog
by Jason Lukehart on Jun 12, 2013 | 12:50 AM up reply rec (3)

We’re so bad we lose at home even when we’re on the road.
May you be enveloped by a multitude of camels.
by V-Mart Shopper on Jun 10, 2013 | 11:01 PM up reply rec (3) flag

I usually just go with the normal ballpark hot dogs, myself.
Bats right like Thornton, left like Hargrove.
by ethorn on Jun 12, 2013 | 11:00 AM up reply rec (7) flag

"I can very easily see a scenario in a couple of months where we’re talking about our starting rotation as a strength.’’ –CA
by westbrook on Jun 13, 2013 | 4:17 PM up reply rec (4) flag

Probably couldn’t believe Hill left with a lead
by mtg8 on Jun 12, 2013 | 10:11 PM up reply rec (3) flag

So you know 10% of the crowd?
by troyflowers on Jun 12, 2013 | 8:50 PM up reply rec (3) flag

I think it goes without saying that Super Terrific Happy Tribe Hour is much, much better than my suggestion.
by VA tribe fan on Jun 10, 2013 | 7:05 PM up reply rec (3)

I hope by "shop" they don’t mean software company start-ups.
by rog on Jun 13, 2013 | 4:16 PM up reply rec (4) flag

Strasburg’s no Kluber, but he does have OK strikeout numbers this year.
by Zaza Braggins on Jun 13, 2013 | 6:04 PM up reply rec (5) flag

This is my first season doing this, and I'd like to believe I'm at least meeting the expectations you had when you heard Soylent Green was coming back.

Swisher This season is getting more and more disappointing
by Joel D on Jun 11, 2013 | 8:47 PM up reply 4 recs flag

Ouch, a kidney shot... from me! I've worked to make each of these more enjoyable to read than the last. I hope that effort has come through to you as the readers.