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Soylent Green is People: 5/24

All the homies, they know what I mean/ baby let me show you how I green

Don't look now, kids, but it's another edition of Soylent Green! Just think of where we might all be without LGT's sixth-favorite recurring feature.

My wife would still be dating a guy who has since come out of the closet!
by Joel D on May 20, 2013 | 4:16 PM up reply 7 recs flag

Well, good for the both of you, I gu-

Actually, yeah, so would I. Unless you were joking, in which case I was totally joking, too. Heh heh.
by ahowie on May 20, 2013 | 4:39 PM up reply rec (4)

Oh. Okay, thanks for sharing. Let's just-

by BuenosAires_Dawg on May 20, 2013 | 3:57 PM reply rec (3) flag

ENOUGH! I'm already sorry I asked for crowd participation. I just want to stop at this point to tip my hat to the punch line of one of the best two-stage moves I've ever seen on here.

That would entail looking back.
by walter.white on May 19, 2013 | 11:29 AM up reply rec (11) flag

I think you can click the link and go through to check that out. Assuming he planned that from his first comment, that was pretty awesome. This was not a good week for Ubaldo comments going green, but a weekly feature regarding how much of a bro Swisher is could be just as entertaining.

Jordan Bastian ‏@MLBastian 2h

In the Indians clubhouse this morning, Nick Swisher was sporting a shirt that read "BRO-HIO" across the chest.
by barsham on May 18, 2013 | 2:31 PM reply rec (3) flag

Just to remind you all of how bipolar this site can be, let's tap into some of the early-week enthusiasm regarding the Tribe's prospects on the year.

I’m so tired of the "The Indians were in first at this time the last two years and collapsed, therefore watch out for a collapse again this year." This roster was absolutely overhauled in the offseason and we have a new, proven, World Series-winning manager. I don’t think last year’s rules apply to this year’s team.
by tr1betime on May 19, 2013 | 1:27 AM reply rec (8) flag

Their pessimism isn’t warranted here. This is a good team. The teams of the last few years played well over their heads through the first two months of the season and a simple look at the roster should’ve been a giant red flag that a collapse was coming. Last year we had Johnny Damon and Jack Hannahan starting for us, for God’s sake. This year we have legitimate, solid starters at every single position. It’s ok for Cleveland to pessimistic sometimes, but in this case their pessimism is blinding them to the fact that there is an exciting team with a real shot at the playoffs right in front of their eyes.
by tr1betime on May 19, 2013 | 10:02 AM up reply rec (3) flag

Of course, by the time you read this, we'll all be riding high on the win over the Red Sox that is wrapping up as I type.

Depends on if Angel Hernandez is the ump.
Formerly fwembt
Banners on the Parkway.
by Brad D on May 20, 2013 | 1:18 PM up reply rec (7)

Fair enough. There's no such thing as a sure thing with him on the prowl. Whoo, my mind is starting to wander here.

Just deactivate your Twitter account and you will be able to focus again.
by Brick. on May 22, 2013 | 9:13 AM up reply rec (5) flag

I don't think that's it. Being clever on here is harder than I make it look.

Harder than impossible?!
"I will not now, nor will I ever, live in that tedious world where everything is either a) awesome or b) stinks." YDW
by USSChoo on May 22, 2013 | 4:58 PM up reply rec (5) flag

Thanks for that. Anywho, here's the rest of the week in recs.

Combining folksy good sense and cutthroat business tactics for the last two centuries.
by mauichuck on May 21, 2013 | 7:39 PM up reply rec (3) flag

The Tribe and I are now registered at BB&B. We’re think maybe something on the beach in October – save the date.
by profdlp on May 19, 2013 | 1:26 PM up reply rec (4) flag

"No — I’m still with Casey Blake."
by JulioBernazard on May 19, 2013 | 3:27 PM up reply rec (4) flag

The Indians catcher’s unique pre-pitch ritual got started when he played high-school ball in El Salvador. One day Carlos went out to catch without his protective cup. Now he double checks not just every game, but before every pitch.

"It’s the baseball, [it is] very hard" said Santana.

Some of the Tribe’s bullpen staff teased him about it at one time. "He didn’t laugh, so I kind of just quit," said right-hander Vinnie Pestano. Manager Manny Acta said the joking was natural for a team that plays well together.
by 9James on May 19, 2013 | 4:17 PM up reply rec (5) flag

Bring on Sabathia. We’re gonna go to town on that tubby bastard like we were him at cheeseburger eating contest. We’re unstoppable.
"I don’t care if it’s Mother Teresa, if she was wearing a Yankee uniform, I’d still boo her." - mauichuck
by Turkmenbashi on May 19, 2013 | 6:15 PM reply rec (25)

What in the name of all f***ery happened in this thread?
by ahowie on May 20, 2013 | 1:21 AM reply rec (6) flag

You know what, I'm having fun with this. I think I'll just make this version of Soylent Green go on and on, writing my little comments and-

Whatever, you're the only one who feels that way.

God, man, stop. Just stop.
"I don’t care if it’s Mother Teresa, if she was wearing a Yankee uniform, I’d still boo her." - mauichuck
by Turkmenbashi on May 18, 2013 | 11:40 PM up reply rec (9) flag

Oh. Well, how did I do as far as I got?

i think you nailed it
by CLEinAZ on May 19, 2013 | 3:47 PM up reply rec (5) flag

Ugh. See you jerks next week.