clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Chapter 8: [Redacted]

New, 91 comments

The [redacted] recap of a [redacted] to the [redacted] [redacted] Yankees

14 [redacted] runs. 14 [redacted] runs.
14 [redacted] runs. 14 [redacted] runs.
USA TODAY Sports

April 9, 2013

Yankees 14, Indians 1

Chapter 8: [Redacted]

Editor's Note: Unfortunately the unexpurgated version of this recap would probably get me in trouble, so this morning I removed all the naughty bits. However, your imagination will be able to supply the missing words.

A winter in which just about everything went right, and now this [redacted]? The [redacted] Yankees with their [redacted] B squad lineup have come to town and [redacted] all over this pitching staff in two games, and has put everyone in a [redacted] mood, including your humble servant. So what better way to vent than in this [redacted] recap?

Carlos Carrasco. Hoo boy. It looks like he's throwing a bit better (sitting 94-96 mph) than before the surgery, but his control is still [redacted]. He gave up seven [redacted] runs, in only 3.2 [redacted] innings, and probably wouldn't have lasted much longer had he not thrown at Kevin Youkilis after serving up a meatball to Robinson Cano. So the umpire [redacted] tossed him, and now [redacted], he's probably going to get suspended and [redacted] up the 25-man roster while he's serving the [redacted] 6-game suspension.

I supposed I wouldn't care as much about Carrasco if the 5 guys in the rotation were pitching well. But this [redacted] performance is coming on the heels of Ubaldo Jimenez pitching like [redacted] the day before, Scott Kazmir is still on the [redacted] shelf, and then there's Brett [redacted] Myers.

In a way I'm glad Terry Francona brought Brett [redacted] Myers into the ballgame to finish the [redacted]. If you're going to have two [redacted] performances, you might as well take them both in the same [redacted] game and get them over with. He did finish the game, which I'll grudgingly give him credit for, but [redacted], he was worse than Carrasco, who at least has the excuse of not pitching in a major league game since 20-[redacted]-11. Myers would give 7 more [redacted] runs and three more [redacted] home runs for five [redacted] home runs in total, including one to Lyle [redacted] Overbay and Brennan [redacted] Boesch, both of whom the [redacted] Yankees signed as free agents late in Spring Training. If the Yankees didn't sign them, these two guys would have been playing in [redacted] AAA, and Myers can't get these guys out? If he doesn't [redacted] figure things out soon, the Indians will be paying 7 [redacted] million dollars to a longman who gives up home runs to AAA [redacted] retreads. [redacted].

The hitting should not be taken off the hook. Although seeing Andy Pettitte dominating the Indians on one-[redacted]-half of Carrasco's stuff is a clarifying moment for me. The Indians' pitching depth chart has several pitchers with outstanding stuff, but unfortunately if you can't [redacted] throw good strikes your [redacted] good stuff gets smacked around the [redacted] yard as much as an 85-mph fastball. We knew going in that rotation was going to make or break this team, and a week in, it looks like it's going to [redacted] break it. Oh yeah, the [redacted] hitting...7 hits and 1 [redacted] run, which was an Asdrubal Cabrera solo homer in the sixth. Otherwise the Indians get [redacted] shut out worse than the beatdown that they gave the Rays on Sunday? Take away Sunday's game and the Indians have a [redacted] run differential of minus [redacted] 26 after only [redacted] eight games.

Ok, I feel slightly better. Now I'm going to have some tea and think happy thoughts.And watch some kitten videos.