Now that the NFL is over, most of you are probably looking forward to the next big sports event of the year. No, it's not the Final Four, or the Masters, or even Opening Day. It's your fantasy draft, of course! And to those of you who have found this column via your handy search engine, you are in luck. Because the five minutes you spend reading the next couple paragraphs will be worth more than the hours your competitors spent poring over those scouting reports and team previews.
So sit back, reach into your nearby Cheez-It box, and by the time you're done munching, you'll have four Indians players that will help you win your fantasy league. Beating nine other random fantasy players will have never felt so good!
Sleeper #1: 1B MATT LA PORTA (HR, BATTING AVG)
You've heard about him for years. He was once traded for CC Sabathia. Now he's ready to open a can of Redi-Whip on the American League. Because he'll be several scrolls down the first base depth chart, don't worry about picking him in the first couple rounds. But once the tenth round comes around, go ahead and put him in your queue, just in case those no-shows auto-select him out from under you. If someone types "lol" in the chat, just ignore them or scoff silently); you'll be doing your laughing during the season.
Sleeper #2: CF EZEQUIEL CARRERA (STEALS)
As everyone knows, the secret to winning your league is filling your roster with burners. Speedy guys always go quickly in a draft, but go ahead on put on your poker face, draft a couple of overweight sluggers, and pull out Carrera in the last round. All those chumps who were counting on picking up Carrera in free agency will be Ticked. Off. Once the Indians put Sizemore on the DL, Carrera will get his shot. The dude is fast, and that's going to translate into lots and lots of steals.
Sleeper #3: RHP Frank HERRMANN (SAVES)
The only thing harder to draft than steals is saves, and Herrmann is right in line to get some nice juicy saves. Why do I think he's going to be closing? Because Herrmann has one pitch, and one-pitch pitchers are always good closers. Mariano Rivera, need I say more?
THE ULTIMATE SLEEPER: ROBERTO HERNANDEZ (WHIP)
What? You haven't heard the Indians signed him? Well, that's the point of this column, isn't it? Roberto has been out of baseball for five years, but I saw that the Indians placed him on the Restricted List just to keep other clubs' mitts off the 47-year-old fireballer. If Jamie Moyer can pitch in the late 40s, think about what a pitcher with much better stuff could do!
So there you have it. Pick these four guys, and you'll be the talk of your league. Long after you've thought about this site and your humble fantasy prognosticator, you'll be racking up the stats in your league. After a while, you'll be doing so well, you won't even have to log in!