In theater, a comedy is defined as a "light and humorous drama with a happy ending." That definition fit today's game very well. Let's relive that second inning play by play, and what I was thinking:
"Ok, no big deal. Elarton worked around a leadoff hit in the first inning..."
"What the $%&&%! Boone almost never makes a bad throw. Now there's runners on first and third; Detroit's probably going to get a run out of it, but that should be it."
"Fine. The Tigers got a run home, but now there's one out, a runner at first, and the next two guys up are John McDonald and Nook Logan, not exactly offensive threats."
(Now I'm getting angry) "John McDonald?! Come on, Elarton, don't impode here. You aren't going to double up Logan, but you can pitch to him..."
"Well, maybe they'll get Pudge at the plate. Bard's a good defensive catcher..."
"Hold onto the [dang] ball, Bard! At this rate, Victor's going to play the rest of the season if Josh can't do what a backup catcher's supposed to do. Wait, maybe Liefer can get McDonald trying to score..."
"This isn't our day. Might as well let Tallet and Cabrera some innings and let the rest of the bullpen get some rest. Unfortunately, this wasn't entirely Elarton's fault, but it will look that way in the boxscore..."
"Of course, now that five runs have scored, the last two outs will come quickly..."
"Well, I take back everything I said about Elarton. What else is on? Hmm, the Hall of Fame ceremony's taking place, that looks interesting."
Of course, being a glutton for punishment, I eventually did turn back to the game, if only to see if Brian Tallet would finally get his first shot in the majors after Tommy John surgery. But Elarton, to his credit, gave the Indians some fairly shaky but scoreless innings. And three homers later, the Indians had the lead, and Bob Wickman was in line to save the game.
The Indians probably won't gain any ground on the teams ahead of them, unless Tampa Bay comes back from a 6-0 deficit; Oakland pounded the Royals 11-0, and the Yankees beat Toronto 6-2.